News flash: college freshmen act like college freshmen

at least, before social justice warriors
enforced purdah

Years ago as an ink-stained wretch, the proprietor of the Policy Werkes vetted a news story involving a certain word that could not be committed to print in a general circulation newspaper. The city editor, who was of the female persuasion, suggested that readers be invited to call a special telephone line to hear the actual word.

All through the day and night our special telephone line would light up to repeat the forbidden word — hundreds of times each hour, which was (WARNING: Adult Content!) “Pussy.” She and I rolled that in our minds for a blissful moment, then went back to our work, butchering reporters’ news stories.

a-1983-pinellas-county-courtroom-photo

Exhibit A

Something doesn’t add up here

Let’s get physical, as Olivia Newton-John once sang. The white lab coats at the Werkes got to think that a good swath of America is trying to visualize how party goers could push a friends’s penis into the hands of a female student, as is alleged occurred at a drunken dorm party in Brett Kavanaugh’s freshman year in college. What are the logistics? We don’t get the “pushing” part. Does it not seem one would have to be pulling the damn thing? The damn thing’s owner gingerly lurching forward lest he be gelded? Perhaps registering his discomfort with a few well chosen epithets?

Maybe they pushed from behind, but then wouldn’t the owner topple onto the floor? What is the science here? A certain amount of physics, centers of gravity, etc. And what of the woman? Was she frozen in place? Did she attend a drunken dorm party expecting readings of Syliva Plath? 

Jerold Nadler, reconvene the Judiciary Committee now! Invite in forensic experts using life-size models! Slow-motion, computer-generated reconstructions! Expert witnesses wearing single-use latex gloves! Let’s get to the bottom of this (so to speak).

Bluto guitar.gif

All my rowdy friends

The other detail is that this allegedly occurred in college a few years after the release of Animal House. The social justice community now bans this movie as degenerate art.

Comment BlackWhich reminded this old bastard of his college days. A halloween party in someone’s upstairs flat. Guy wearing a trench coat and nothing else. A flashlight hung from a loop around his neck shining straight down. Greets the young ladies attending the party by opening the trench coat. It was painted green. The witness would shriek, then join the rest of us dipping into the tub of Boone’s Farm, Ripple, and MD 20/20 as Creedence Clearwater Revival blasted away. (Phil Ochs strictly prohibited!)

I got more stories, and so, frankly, do you. Which is why the Democrats’ pious indignation (and that of their press agents at The Capital Times, CNN and the New York Times) is so phony. Like the proverbial Christian with three aces. Take yer Pilgrims’ dunking tank and fill it with sangria.

Joan Crawford Torch Song 1953

“Mammy Dearest!” Joan Crawford from a 1953 film, Torch Song. This could ruin her posthumous reputation worse than her clothes hangers fetish

Blaska’s Bottom Lineif you scratch a person hard enough, you’re bound to uncover some fleas. 

• An SNL comedian was fired before ever getting on stage for once cracking wise about Asians, despite receiving absolution from Democrat(ic) presidential candidate Andrew Yang, who (he says) knows a lot of doctors, being Asian, doncha know.

• The latest deer in the headlights is Canadian pretty-boy Justin Trudeau,  photographed in black and brown face.

• Elizabeth Warren admits to appearing in Paleface.

• We fully expect one of the Democrats to dramatically produce ticket stubs proving that Bernie Sanders paid to see Animal House (dubbed in Russian). Twice!

What do YOU think?

 

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About David Blaska

Madison WI
This entry was posted in Election 2020, Progressives and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to News flash: college freshmen act like college freshmen

  1. Gary L. Kriewald says:

    Of course Canadian prime minister and former underwear model Justin Trudeau will (after a brief spell of public contrition) be allowed to continue his duties. As one of the Left’s favorite pin-up boys, he’ll join the governor and lieutenant governor of VA in that exclusive club of ex-minstrels and sex offenders granted absolution by the liberal establishment. What’s less certain is how long the rest of us are going to put up with the prissy schoolmarms of the Left shaking their bony fingers in our faces and declaring what’s off-limits in the world of entertainment. The degenerate art allusion is right on target; the Nazis’ determination to censor art they deemed incompatible with their fanatical ideology is the direct forbear of the Left’s crusade to silence anything or anyone that voices views incompatible with their equally fanatical ideology.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Tom Paine says:

    Yes. Easy to understand. If you were stationed in Vietnam, or Korea, or had experience in WWII, such silly concerns are, by comparison, just a joke. The “Don’t smoke, you’ll get cancer” song didn’t play well among those who knew death in ways civilians never would.

    And now young people feel triggered, insulted, and offended. Makes one wonder. Who does their laundry?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Cornelius Gotchberg says:

    The timeless classic ”perv trenchcoat” was The Gotch’s GO-TO Halloween costume for the better part of two decades.

    Why? No one in their right mind will claim it’s “cultural appropriation.”

    Rather than “nothing” underneath, I wore the skeeziest of skivvies, replete with…um…functional Rolling Stones Lips strategically situated.

    And c’mon, no perv trenchcoat outfit worthy of the name is complete without the cut-off pant legs tied above the knees, am I right?

    The Gotch

    Liked by 1 person

  4. madisonexpat says:

    I once cut out a large oval from a fridge carton, covered it in pink crepe paper, put a round piece of brown tupperware in the center and me and a pal walked around a large Halloween Party with it. When asked what we were, we flipped it over and showed a sign that said, “Two men walking abreast.”

    Liked by 1 person

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