The Never caucus is leaving Kevin home alone

Bismarck’s sausages and laws.

It is likely a character flaw that the Head Groundskeeper hereabouts is transfixed by the klusterflock in the House of Reps. Shouldn’t Ted Koppel do a nightly TV recap: Day 3, America Held Hostage?

Except that we seem to be getting along just fine without Congress. Was Mark Twain wrong? “No man’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.” Belgium toddled along without any government for two years. (It may not have one now, for all we know.) The UK went through three prime ministers in three months. Still punch above their weight. The Wisconsin Badger football team went through three coaches in about the same period. Still won a bowl game.

Does it not seem that our favorite Wisconsin capital city has too much government? How many of our state government employees are “non-essential”? (Blaska raises his hand.)

The legislative process or the Salem witch trials?

“You can’t lead a majority that would really rather be in the minority.”

— ‘Who’s crazy enough to be a Republican speaker?’ — Wall Street Journal.

The election denial caucus

Which takes us to the Gang of 20. We may have missed one or two but, at first blush, who of the 20 has ever governed — chaired a committee, run a city, governed a state? Easier to lob grenades than build bridges. Purifying the party leads to Robespierre and Joe Stalin, an ever-narrowing gyre. In an irony worthy of Jonathan Swift’s Modest Proposal, the likes of Lauren Boebert and Matt Gaetz hurt the Republican brand. They are responsible for tamping down the expected electoral red wave into a pink trickle. Hard heads who can’t take yes for an answer, like Yassir Arafat. 

Nominating Kevin McCarthy in Round 4, Wisconsin's Mike Gallagher said democracy is messy. Deliberately and — to our mind — delightfully so. Gallagher could wind up getting the job himself, much like Paul Ryan, who didn’t want it either. Mike Gallagher is a future president.

Blaska respects the legislative process, having served a dozen years on the Dane County Board of Supervisors. When we conservatives took over in the mid-1990s, we were accused of being discordant. Isn’t full and open debate the sound democracy makes? What other branch of government does that?

One of our conservative majority criticized our chairman as a poor leader. Being that the chairman was brother Mike, that rankled. Given that, under his leadership, Dane County built a jail, built Monona Terrace, and ended a 1930s-era welfare program for able-bodied adults without dependents — it was a statement based solely on personal animosity. And Mike personally recruited many of our majority — as did Kevin McCarthy.

“Maybe you’re just a poor follower,” this old warhorse retorted. Going one’s own way may be noble but it adds up to defeat in a legislative body. Paul Marunich once commented that chairing the Dane County Republican party was like herding cats. Our own conservative contingent consisted largely of tavern keepers, restaurateurs, property developers, body shop owners, farmers, and self-employed attorneys. People accustomed to giving their own orders.

Democrats don’t have that problem. They have an organized labor mentality. They coalesce like hydrogen and oxygen atoms. A couple decades ago, the Madison teachers union picketed Briarpatch because its director, a school board member, was being tough in the contract negotiations. Briarpatch employees ran out to the picketers, informed them that the nonprofit counsels suicidal kids, who would now be forced to cross a picket line of their teachers. Several of the protesters apologized and began to leave. Their union steward ordered them back in line and back in line they went.

Blaska’s Bottom Line: It’s a hard truth: Making a governing majority requires some take and a lot of give.

Should Republicans make Andy Biggs the Speaker
and see how he likes it?

Posted in Election 2022, Republicans, Uncategorized | 20 Comments

Amazing predictions for the New Year! Part #2

The Werkes sees the future like it’s never been seen before!

The Webb telescope only looks into the past. Ol’ Sparky, our Eisenhower-era mainframe computer, looks to the days of future passed, the first Moody Blues concept album. While Republicans consider asking celebrities to call the roll for House Speaker (Aaron Rodgers being one), here’s our predix:


•  UW yields to PETA, renames football team “The Marchers” in honor of Fredric March, who is also their new mascot as Dr. Jekyll’s hideous Mr. Hyde (the great actor’s first Academy Award-winning role).

• Will Smith hosts Oscars, but via Zoom. Harry and Meghan are presenters. They do scripted, forced comedy patter. Gig leads to contract to do Flex-Seal commercials.

• Madison school superintendent Carleton Jenkins is revealed to be a hologram animated by Jennifer Cheatham. Is given a contract extension nonetheless.

•  In the U.S. Senate, Chuck Schumer trades Joe Manchin for Lisa Murkowski and a senator to be named later.

•  New Madison Common Council President Paul Skidmore swears on souls of his grandchildren that he will not be the one to break the peace we have made here.


•  Governor Tony Evers, in a ranting, spittle-flecked state of the state address, demands return of the Upper Peninsula from Michigan for lebensraum. Asks legislature for more snowmobiles equipped with Stinger missiles.

• In latest Woke school renaming, Madison renames West high school for Ivy League black socialist Cornell West.

• Keisean Nixon takes opening kickoff of Super Bowl XVII from Packers’ own end zone, runs 220 yards into the terrace-level concession stand at State Farm Stadium in suburban Phoenix, where he consumes a box of chocolates.

• New coach Luke Fickell recruits twelfth quarterback, two women’s hockey goaltenders, an assistant basketball coach, and a French medieval literature professor.

•  Police Civilian Oversight Board submits bill for its services. “After all, we are not communists!” chairman Shadayra Kilfoy-Flores jibes. “Actually, we are,” she whispers.


University of Wisconsin-Madison replaces Women’s and Black Studies with welding.

• After he confiscates student’s stolen smart phone, Sennett middle school principal Jeffrey Copeland is placed on administrative leave.

• In a lightning strike, Proud Boys and Oath Keepers retake nation’s Capitol, install Alex Jones as House Speaker.

• Tim Michels meets with Rebecca Kleefisch at Louie’s restaurant in the Bronx. (Try the veal. It’s the best in town!) Michels tries to placate Kleefisch for blowing the election. “What guarantees could I give you, Rebecca? I am the hunted one! I missed my chance! You think too much of me, kid — I’m not that clever. All I want is a truce.”

Blaska’s Bottom Line: How does Blaska do it? He buys right!

What do YOU predict?

Posted in Humor, Uncategorized | 13 Comments

Amazing predictions for the New Year! Part #1

The Werkes is totally unpredictable!

After treating Ol’ Sparky to an underbody bug blast, spot-free rinse, and protective carnauba waxing at Mermaid Car Wash, the faceless bureaucrats at the Werkes tasked the Eisenhower-era mainframe computer to forecast the great events of the new year, 2023. After first insisting, “Sorry, Dave, I cannot do that,” a good whack with a ball peen hammer shook out these predictions and three lug nuts:


Dane County Board authorizes big, beautiful new jail after it is pitched as Frank Lloyd Wright’s lost design for low-income housing.

•  Testifying before the House January 6 committee chaired by Jim Jordan, Ray Epps confesses that he was the FBI mole who goaded AARP tour bus passengers — they had been marching peacefully and patriotically to the Smithsonian stamp museum —into becoming crazed insurrectionists. Republican committee refers masterminds Nancy Pelosi and Mike Pence for criminal prosecution.

•  Tucker Carlson guest hosts the popular game show, Jeopardy. Celebrity contestant Volodymyr Zelensky says, “I’ll take ‘Unprovoked Russian Invasion’ for $500, Tuck.” Zelensky then tries to win Terry Bradshaw’s money.

• Alabama bolts SEC for the Big Ten, followed by Clemson, LSU, Texas, Florida State, Brown, UW-River Falls, and the Chicago Bears.

•  Assembly Speaker Robin Vos offers Timothy Ramthun a drink. “Today I settled all family business, so don’t tell me you’re innocent! Because it insults my intelligence — makes me very angry.”


•  Attempting to rehabilitate his image, Donald Tr•mp invites cryptocurrency scammer Sam Bankman-Fried and Long Island liar George Santos for dinner at Mar-a-Lago. It’s pot luck.

•  Last-minute write-in Paul Soglin defeats mayoral candidates Satya Rhodes Conway and Gloria Reyes. Immediately announces retirement. 

•  King Charles 3 dissolves parliament, defeats the Roundheads, subdues Scotland, calls for a Crusade to free the Holy Land from the Saracens. Wipes hands on dogs under his feast table, at which several wenches are seated.

• A famous personality dies who you could have sworn was already dead.

• Police Chief Shon Barnes tells Tony Galli of WKOW-TV 27, “Alright. This one time — this one time I’ll let you ask me about my affairs.”


• Chamberlin Rock found to have healing properties, particularly against Covid-19. Church investigates several miracles. Shrine contemplated.

• John Nichols named new head of WI Manufacturers & Commerce. Calls for flat tax and privatizing postal service.

• NFL bans blocking and tackling; adopts flag football rules, admits women.

• After Hunter Biden implicates father in China pay for play, Joe Biden says: “I have a sentimental weakness for my children and I spoil them, as you can see. They talk when they should listen.”

Blaska’s Bottom Line bonus prediction: After scamming the Make-a-Wish Foundation, Blaska gets named editor of the Wisconsin State Journal, endorses himself for school board, restores comics, prints last night’s football scores, then attempts humorous column predicting the future.

What do YOU predict?

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Twenty three for ’23

Blaska’s policy agenda for the new year!

Jonathan Swift would call these modest proposals. Progressives will claim to be triggered and demand reparations. Totally disregarding popular demand, once again The Werkes proposes uncommon sense proposals for a prosperous new year in Madison WI:


1) Amend the Wisconsin Constitution to place the Department of Public Instruction in the governor’s appointive cabinet rather than as an elected office. Education should sit at the same table with the governor as transportation, natural resources, prisons, public health, and revenue.

2) Revise the criminal code to automatically charge custodial parents or guardians with a crime equivalent to the offense for which their minor child is being adjudicated.

3) Ease legal requirements for the state to seize chronic juvenile delinquents (remember that term?) and commit them to a secure residential educational facility. Build out the old Oscar Mayer plant on Madison’s NE side for that purpose. Include agriculture, food preparation, and the trades with access to nearby MATC.

4) Abolish the Police Civilian Oversight Board and furlough its overpaid director.

5) Deep six the Madison “food market.”


6) Enforce the prohibition of panhandling on street intersections.

7) Deny bail for any defendant previously convicted or presently charged with jumping bail.

8) Stop collecting data by racial categorystarting with the U.S. Census

9) Create a local, moderate political party that would coordinate candidate recruitment for Madison Common Council, school board and county supervisor. Could share messaging and raise unlimited campaign funds. To counter far-Left Progressive Dane.

10) Return the Chamberlin Rock to its rightful place on the University of Wisconsin’s Madison campus and restore the good name of alumnus Fredric March.


11) Shut down university grievance studies

12) Elect Madison school board members at large from one pool of candidates, rather than by — uniquely in the state — numbered seats.

13) Return school resource police officers to Madison’s public high schools and add middle schools.

14) Statewide, universal school choice regardless of income!

15 Rescind the requirement that school district superintendents hold a doctorate in educational administration.


16) Body cameras for Madison police!

17) Allow school personnel to carry weapons on school grounds if licensed for CCW and live ammo training, to be registered with and indemnified by the district.

18) Commit to next-generation nuclear energy.

19) Build a knock-your-eyes out, landmark Catholic diocesan cathedral.

20) Prohibit political demonstrations in residentially zoned areas. Their purpose is intimidation, not sharing ideas.


21)  Hold establishments that prohibit firearms without active screening financially liable for resulting casualties. 

22) Erect a monorail from the Alliant Energy campus forking west to Camp Randall stadium and the Kohl Center and east to Monona Terrace and the State Capitol. Takes advantage of parking at Alliant and encourages multi-venue events. Its own tourist attraction with great views across Lake Monona.

23) Build the damn ☠️💣!! 🤪✖︎ jail!

What are YOUR New Year’s prescriptions?

Posted in Crime, Uncategorized | Tagged | 18 Comments

Heroes and zeroes of 2022 #3

Happy New Year!

The world needs more heroes. That starts right here in Madison WI! Hoping against all hope that a few more moderates register their aldermanic and school board candidacies by the deadline 5 p.m. Tuesday 01-03-23. In no particular order, the third and final (thank GAWD!) installment of Heroes and Zeroes of 2022:


Heroes

Grandparents United for Madison Public Schools for including Blaska, a write-in candidate, in their school board debate last February, despite the organization’s antipathy to Blaska’s pro-school choice position.

Ald. Charles Myadze, for fighting for Madison police and advocating for body-worn cameras. Facing another far-Left challenger this cycle.

Krantz Electric of Verona who installed the Stately Manor’s electric outlet for its new kitchen range the day before Thanksgiving after being called only the night before. Blaska’s turkey turned out terrific! Service above and beyond!

Madison Police Chief Shon Barnes, for standing up for non-lethal methods of crowd control, such as tear gas.

Aaron Rodgers. As fascinating and complex as the Webb space telescope. A real iconoclast! Never mind the football broadcast booth after you retire! Go for a late night talk show desk! You could be the next Jack Paar! (What was that Peruvian hallucinogenic you take, BTW? Asking for a friend.)

U.S. Rep. Mike Gallagher. Bright, former Marine intelligence officer, understands the world and its dangers, only 38 years of age. Doesn’t pander. The stuff Presidents are made of. The future of the Republican party.

Braelon Allen. The future Heisman Trophy candidate returns to the Wisconsin Badger football team. Speaking of which, looks like the Badgers will have four or five capable quarterbacks. Any rule in playing several at the same time?

Kaleem Caire. This education reformer is teaching black kids despite the Madison establishment. Another reformer too good to be elected to the public school board.

U.S. Senator Ron Johnson. Repeat after me, “U.S. Senator Ron Johnson.” A maverick in the style of Bill Proxmire.


Zeroes

Tim Michels for playing the paranoid election-deniers’ card from the bottom of the deck. “Never Tr•mpers are at it again,” he cried during his losing campaign, “trying to divide conservatives to elect a special-interest insider” meaning Rebecca Kleefisch. (!!!) That’s the Tr•mp taint right there: picking fights with fellow Republicans!

Jill Underly, Superintendent of Public Instruction. Underly’s DPI promotes the fad of “culturally relevant teaching.”… The agency’s strong emphasis on categorizing students first as members of racial groups is exactly the type of “race essentialism” promoted by … critical race theory. 

Nineteen of the 37 Dane County Board members who scuttled much needed jail expansion. They are Andrae, Bare, Castillo, Huelsemann, Hynes, Kegeya, Miles, Pellebon, Ritt, Rose, Smith, Wegleitner, Wright, Xistgris-Songpanya, and Yang. 

“We are not protecting people by incarcerating. We are protecting a system, a system that harms people.”

— Sup. Dana Pellebon, Progressive Dane-Fitchburg

Joe Parisi, Dane County Executive. Some leadership? Please?

“The Car 54 Where Are You” award goes to Carleton Jenkins, believed to be the superintendent of the Madison Metropolitan School District. Why do we have to look up your name every time? Because you are invisible is why! Maybe he has been renamed like more and more of our schools.


Coming Monday 01-02-23: The Werkes’ Policy Agenda for a prosperous new year!

What might YOUR policy prescriptions be?

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Heroes and zeroes of 2022 #2

You mean there’s more?

On the national and worldwide stage, we admire people like the American being held by Russia as a prisoner, Paul Whelan; Sens. Tim Scott, Ben Sasse, and (yes) Mitch McConnell; Richard Fierro (the man who disarmed the shooter in that Colorado Springs nightclub); truth-tellers Eric Herschmann and Cassidy Hutchinson; fearless comedians Dave Chappelle (and, occasionally) Bill Maher; and that nemesis of critical race theory, Christopher Rufo.

All stepped up (as coaches say in their post-game interviews) in the year concluding midnight tonight to fight the good fight. (Hey! Make yer own list!)

Who are Madison’s heroes? Who in Wisconsin deserves our praise? At the other end of The Werkes’ rusty applause meter, who deserves the opprobrium of history? (In addition to the criminally convicted.) In no particular order, the second thrilling installment of Heroes and Zeroes of 2022:


Heroes

Jennifer Dorrow, the Waukesha County judge who managed her courtroom over the disruptive antics of the ultimately convicted Waukesha Christmas parade murderer. Now running for state supreme court.

Chase Wolf for sticking with the Badgers for five years as a back-up, finally getting his chance to quarterback the team to victory in their bowl game.

Jeffrey Copeland for restoring discipline to a restive Madison middle school and surviving the district pecksniffs.

Madison police officer Edward McKinley, who saved a criminal perp’s life and those of fellow officers by wrestling a firearm from frequent flier Katoine Richardson

State Sen. Kathy Bernier, R-Lake Hallie, an actual local election official who stood up to the Election Deniers.

Wayne Strong, who died way too young on 06-28-22. Retired Madison police lieutenant who never stopped advocating for kids. Southside Raiders Football and Cheerleading Program began during his time as a neighborhood officer. What began as a coaching job blossomed into a nearly 30-year commitment to bettering the lives of hundreds of young men and women. Too good to be elected to the Madison school board.

Rohn Bishop, Sounding the klaxon on Tr•mp early and often. Still re-elected chairman of the Fond du Lac GOP and, last April, mayor of Waupun. Even advocated for early voting, only belatedly accepted by our party.  

UW athletic director Chris McIntosh, who threw long and picked an outsider, Luke Fickell, as football coach.

Anthony Hamilton, for making the race against the Democrat whom Tony Evers appointed as Dane County sheriff. And all the other Republican candidates for offering voters a choice in Dane County.

Bonnie Roe. Westside Madison citizen actively supports police. (If she were progressive, the news media would call her an “activist.”)

More to come.


Zeroes

Madison Ald. Brian Benford claims to be “a black person who has been marginalized in this city …” despite being twice elected. Wants to create a reparations committee as if identity politics hasn’t done enough harm.  

Pro-abortion vandals who hit Wisconsin Family Action in May just after the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs v. Jackson. (O.K. an exception to the no criminals rule.) 

Nada Elmikashfi, chief of staff to State Rep. Francesca Hong, D-Madison: “We must start by acknowledging that our police and criminal justice system are directly tied to the legacy of slavery and slave patrols in our country. It was state-sanctioned violence against black people then, and it is certainly state-sanctioned violence against black people now.”

Elizabeth Beyer. The former WI State Journal education reporter declared, without attribution, that critical race theory is not taught or practiced in any K-12 school.  

State Rep. Lee Snodgrass, D-Appleton, tweeted parents should not “have a say” in their child’s education unless they homeschool their kids or pay for private school tuition out of their “family budget.” (More here.) 

Brandi Grayson parks in no-parking bus stop and then berates the inconvenienced bus rider who complains. (“I just love F-ing white people!”) (Can be taken as an adjective denoting frustration or as a transitive verb.) 

More to come.


Part one of Heroes and Zeroes.

Who is YOUR top hero and bottom zero?

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