Adapted from National Lampoon

Blaska Policy Werkes

"Get those puppies organized." — basketball commentator Bill Raftery

  • The definition of madness

    … is expecting different results. We have been approached by neighbors here in Madison WI — this time not with a cease and desist order. They’re seeking advice, strategies, or black helicopter ops in the cause of reversing the referenda authorizing our schools to blow by state spending limits by an additional $607 million. Best we can counsel is: quit voting for progressives. School board put the referenda on the 2024 Fall ballot; you voted for the resulting average 11.2% hike in property taxes and for all seven members. As with Jacob Marley, these are the chains you forged…

    Read it and Weep!


  • Robin Vos never subscribed to the Big Lie

    The Speaker believed responsible conservatism wins elections. Not many Assembly speakers have cut so wide a swath as Robin Vos or engendered so much bilious spite — from members of his own Republican party. A record 14 years leading the majority party is itself historic, especially considering that my Republicans are less disciplined than feral cats on catnip. Republicans (too many self-employed small business people) just don’t fall in line like the community organizers in the other party. Case in point: Joe Biden taps Kamala Harris as his successor and Democrats take a knee.  Speaker Vos, for just the…

    Read it and Weep!


  • A little tough talk, in plain English

    Give war a chance. Blaska has offered the Wisconsin State Journal, our favorite Madison morning daily newspaper (except for Mondays), his unique and under-appreciated talents to write an opinion column. Awaiting a response from whoever is its current editor. (They come and they go more frequently than Peruvian presidents.) If our price ($500 a pop) is too rich for your blood, make a counter-offer. As Jerry Lundegaard said in Fargo, “I’m working with ya on this thing here.” It could be our prose is too (how shall we say) “vivid” for the timorous. Blaska admits a stylistic debt to…

    Read it and Weep!


  • UW-Madison invited a Republican!

    O.K., he wasn’t exactly MAGA. Father was driving up East Washington Avenue while the little kid in back thought he would explode as the imposing State Capitol loomed ever larger through the windshield like a vision from the Wizard of Oz. How great must be this thing called “Gummint!” If Wisconsin were to build its state capitol today, from scratch, what would it look like? Doubtful anyone would attempt the inspiring Beaux Arts monument to democracy, built between 1903 and 1917. Hellz bellz, even the Catholic churches built these days are light on statutes, glittering mosaics and soaring arches. Where’s…

    Read it and Weep!


  • Whistle a stupid tune

    Madison goes all Minneapolis on immigration. Where is an unmarked police car not unmarked? In Madison WI. Where are undercover plain-clothed officers clearly marked as the constabulary? Here in Progressive Madison WI. Where can scofflaws speed off into the sunset unmolested? In Defund the Cops Madison WI — at least until unfettered police in nearby Monona track them down. Virtue signaling like a sinking sailor doing semaphore, Madison’s police chief — appointed by Mayor Satya — is ordering placards be placed in the windshields of otherwise unmarked police vehicles. The signage will read “Madison Police” — in English AND…

    Read it and Weep!


  • Death was big news in small towns

    ‘The call of the Grim Reaper has again been heard in our midst‘ The Lovely Lisa is lobbying this scribbler to compose his obituary. Was it something we said? Our interest piqued, we plunged into the Sun Prairie Historical Society’s archive of obituaries, a great source of history. Struck by the attention paid to manner of death. Obituaries one hundred and more years ago were not paid but reported as legitimate news stories — especially so in a village of 938 people, the village’s head count in the year 1900. (Sun Prairie’s population today: 39,419!) Cannot improve on this lede,…

    Read it and Weep!




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Imagine a president going to the Supreme Court oral arguments on birthright citizenship and sitting in the audience to stare down the justices who may rule against his government’s case. … It has never happened before in all U.S. history. And surely, it will prove a miscalculation. That court is not going to be afraid of his glowering visage. — Peggy Noonan 


Today’s Laff Riot!

“Media: No motive yet In attack on Jewish synagogue by radical Muslim.” — Babylon Bee