Head on out the highway
Lookin’ for some groceries
and whatever comes my way!
Tony Evers, governor of the great state of Wisconsin, has intervened to stop Blaska from taking his anticipated motorcycle ride today (03-25-2020). Expected high temperature: 55° F. The perfect antidote to a bad case of cabin fever after a long winter and the shelter in place order due to the novel coronavirus. Besides, the old Hog is getting rusty.
Hey, Boss. I’m riding solo. No passengers. Not in a group. No tavern stops (they’re closed, anyway). Only reason I can think for the order is to decrease the small likelihood of an accident to which emergency personnel would need be called.
“Violation or obstruction of this Order is punishable by up to 30 days imprisonment, or up to $250 fine, or both.” Blaska really does NOT want to be the first coronavirus scofflaw, held up to ridicule in the local news media as he does the perp walk, flanked by his attorneys, hobbling on a walker, newly rented for the optics. On the other hand, incarceration in the Dane County hoosegow might be the safest place in town, thanks to the sheriff’s new UV germ blaster.
Wait a minute! The Lovely Lisa says she needs something from the grocery store. I’m raising my hand to volunteer to take the arduous trek. Via my Harley Davidson Softail Slim. Where is the supermarket? Prairie du Chien?
What? The HyVee down the road. Damn!
15. Essential Travel. Individuals engaged in any Essential Travel must comply with Social Distancing Requirements to the extent possible. For the purposes of this Order, Essential Travel includes:
a. Any travel related to the provision of or access to Essential Activities, Special Situations, Essential Governmental Functions, Essential Businesses and Operations, or Minimum Basic Operations.
b. Travel to care for elderly, minors, dependents, persons with disabilities, or other vulnerable persons.
c. Travel to or from educational institutions for purposes of receiving materials for distance learning, for receiving meals, or any other related services.
d. Travel to return to a place of residence from outside the jurisdiction.
e. Travel required by law enforcement or court order, including to transport children pursuant to a custody agreement.
f. Travel required for non-residents to return to their place of residence outside Wisconsin. Individuals are strongly encouraged to verify that their transportation out of Wisconsin remains available and functional prior to commencing such travel.
Thankfully, Wisconsin’s doughty residents ARE allowed to walk, bike, hike, and run “without limitation.” Me, I’m running with scissors. Sorry, that’s the kind of guy I am. (Mutters to self: May have been the nuns.)