Joe Biden does one last service
We tend to forget that politicians are people, too. Well, some of them, anyway. (Blaska once held elective office, so you can draw your own conclusion.)
Your irascible bloggeur feels some empathy (at least, he thinks that’s what it is. Is it like heartburn?) for Joe Biden. The 81-year-old man is going in front of the nation tonight to discuss the State of the Union and nobody this side of Delaware gives two hoots and a holler for what bills he signed or Teslas he mandates. No, America will be watching for the slightest stumble, a trembling hand, a glint of drool.
Viewers across America will watch more nervously than yuppie parents at daughter’s first high-wire trapeze act.
Will the President of the United States transpose Mexico and Egypt again? Confuse Vladimir Putin for a potato? Regale us with a story of Cornpop? What is that bulge under his breast pocket? Did the TelePrompTer just freeze up or was that the President?
If we were Joe Biden, We’d say take this job and give it a good shove down the stairs, like Richard Widmark did in that movie. Give the talking heads on cable news something to yap about. The Sergeant at Arms announces, “The President of the United States.” Admidst the applause, Joe Biden is wheeled down the aisle by hospital attendants wearing white. He wears a blue hospital gown, open at the back, connected to an intravenous drip stand. Up on the dais, an unsmiling nurse named Ratched hovers at the ready. The beeping of various monitors can be heard.
Karine Jean-Pierre gives the President’s shoulder a vigorous shove, the signal for the old guy to start talking.
“Good morning America, how are you? Me, wish I was doing as good.”
Joe Biden then does the party and his nation a service that will go down in history with John Adams peacefully leaving the yet-unpainted White House after one term. The President will say, “I get it! 73% of the country thinks I’m too old. Make that 74% — because the New York Times poll didn’t ask the DNC or David Axelrod. My job was always to dislodge old Bone Spurs and serve as a transition. I’ve done that, or so I’ve been told.
“Hey, we did the best we could. It’s someone else’s turn now. Hopefully, someone not in the early stages of dementia like me or the late stages of insurrection like the other guy. I say that because if the other guy loses again we’re in for a nationwide putsch. It will be Kristallnacht at the Capitol. Washington D.C. will look like downtown Bakhmut. if he wins, Proud Boys will round up RINOs everywhere for re-education camps in the North Woods. They’ll finally kidnap Gretchen Whitmer. We’ll be expelled from NATO; Haiti will send peacekeepers.
“As for me and Dr. Jill, we’re taking one of those Perillo senior citizen tours. Always wanted to see the bullfights in Egypt. Hunter booked us on his laptop. He’s such a comfort. BTW: throwing the Chicago convention open, including for Veep. Wish we could be there.
“What time is it?”
14 responses to “His last State of the Union”
Sen. Ron Johnson with Dan O’Donnell this morning: “Senator, what are you looking forward to in the State of the Union address”? The Senator replied: “The end.”
This column was disrespectful to a sitting president. Corn Pop, too. And so funny that it produced a trembling hand and a glint of drool in this reader.
Knowing Blaska and his unlettered field hands, I am likely to be disqualified from further reading due to some silly Amendment to the Constitution. I forget which one.
“This column was disrespectful to a sitting president.”
Hellz Bellz; if anything, Blaska pulled his punches.
Anyone telling you DementiaJoKe is anywhere near being fit for the highest elective office in the known Universe….will lie to you about other things, as well.
The Gotch
Knock it off you guys!
I for one will give Joe a fair chance to tell us what he’s going to do about the guy and the thing.
Yer right, OE; DementiaJoKe should have the unfettered opportunity to lean into the mic and whisper like the epically clueless d!p$#!t that he is.
The Gotch
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/159cc2736d083a53684912f3bda3bb23f3aa7a50364a50f0e0b23265e92e13ae.png
The Gotch
You forgot ” what am I doing here?”
Listing Jo<Ke’s manifest incapacity in a finite space means some may be left on the cutting room floor.
The Gotch
I haven’t been drunk in at least 50 years, but I certainly will be quickly after playing this game.
“I haven’t been drunk in at least 50 years, but I certainly will be quickly after playing this game.”
THAT got a chuckle!
Inebriation more recent than two score and ten? The Gotch can’t say the same; heck, watching Bucky play tonight from the only certified Red Room©™® in these here parts, he won’t be able to say that tonight…
ON WISCONSIN!!
The Gotch
The media universally and quickly settled on two major descriptive adjectives for Biden’s speech: ‘Fiery’ and ‘defiant.’ I would wager 10-1 that if Trump had given a speech almost identical in delivery style, the media’s chosen adjectives would have been ‘angry,’ ‘unhinged,’ ‘dark,’ and ‘threatening.’
His speech was fiery but mostly peaceful.
DementiaJoKe calls a spade a spade…or an illegal AN_ILLEGAL and Lefty goes apoplectic?
Priceless!
The Gotch
Yes, Joe must go. The problem is, who do we replace him with?
Regarding Donald Trump’s current run for President.
At this point in time I’d rather vote for complete government gridlock between the Democrats and the Republicans in Washington DC and accomplish damn near nothing in the next four years than to vote for Trump. We can easily survive government gridlock, we’ve done it before. It would take an unpredictable act of God, an extraordinary turn of events, for me to vote for Trump in the 2024 general election.