We’re too testy to start testing

Your Werkes booster blogge!

To combat the Omicron variant, President Joe Biden is going to make 500 million at-home COVID-19 test kits available for free starting next month.

In the rapidly evaporating spirt of Christmas just past, you can have mine. No need to thank. It’s another benefit for you platinum-level subscribers to the Werkes, the daytime, sniffling, sneezing, aching, coughing, stuffy-head, fever, so you can think blogge.

Belushi test

The indentured servants at the Stately Manor are not vaxx deniers. We’ve got two doses of mint chocolate Moderna surging through our veins plus a booster. Three more and we get a free pizza and webbed feet. It’s just that we gave up self-flagellation for Lent. Why stick a cotton swab up your schnoz if you’re feeling in fine fettle?

Omicron symptoms said to be sore throat, runny nose, fever, and muscle aches. Sounds like a cocktail of NyQuil and Absolut should be the quicker fixer-upper. From what the grey lab coats can determine, a dry cough and loss of taste and smell distinguish Covid from the run o’ the mill flu, against which we’re also vaccinated. (Also, shingles, tetanus, and Woke progressivism.)

Consider also that you may have Covid but not know it because you don’t have symptoms. And that the home test kits aren’t all that accurate, anyway (it sez here).

Do you hear what I hear? No, it’s not the night wind to the little lamb. It’s the bleating of Chicken Little, sure that the sky will fall if we don’t increase carbon taxes. It is whining, “Blaska, have you no heart? Aren’t you worried about spreading the crud to someone who isn’t vaccinated?”

Blaska’s Bottom LineJust because we don’t wear our heart on our sleeve doesn’t mean we don’t use it on occasion. This is not one of those occasions. You don’t want to vaxx, don’t axx. Besides, can’t get the swab up our schnozes past this damned mask.

How’s YOUR fettle feeling?

About David Blaska

Madison WI
This entry was posted in Coronavirus, Uncategorized, Uncle Joe. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to We’re too testy to start testing

  1. David G Feuerherd says:

    Don’t forget the mouthwash.


  2. Landon says:

    Wonder if the Feds are planning to fund waiting in line for a test?


  3. Jon Burack says:

    A vaccine against Woke progressivism? Perhaps the Blaska Blog would do the trick. But it’s a nasty virus that just keeps mutating.


  4. A Party of One says:

    Biden is giving us more testing whether we want it or not. Through the DoD he is spending $137 million to build a Covid test factory in Sheboygan, of all places. Of course it won’t be ready for 2 years, but what the heck. He’ll somehow keep us all worried of Covid forever. Bye bye freedoms!


  5. AdamC says:

    He should have done this immediately upon taking office. It’s been a full year. Just last month Raggedy Jen was making fun of this idea.

    These people are not serious.

    Biden promised when running that he would defeat the virus and lots of not-so-smart people bought it.

    Wonder what they think of that promise with the news just yesterday that a half-million people in the US tested positive.

    By the time all those tests flood the market I bet the caseload will drop.

    Almost ALL the experts have been wrong over and over. Biden’s government can’t seem to get anything right, and he seems to just have walked away from any federal responsibility after saying last year that he had “a plan” to defeat the virus.

    Maybe he just forgot or the dog ate it.


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