When Santa huffs and puffs
and blows the whole House (and Senate) down
A conspiracy so vast …
Scratch an aging liberal and to this day, s/he’ll swear that Alger Hiss was framed — the subsequent Venona Transcripts be damned. Grassy knoll conspiracists emerge from their basements every November 22nd. The moon landing was filmed on a Hollywood sound stage. Queen Elizabeth had Princess Di whacked. 9/11 was an inside job. The Twin Towers was a controlled demolition. Something about the Jews.
⇒ It’s the wee hours of November 4, 2020, in a basement command center somewhere in Delaware. That criminal mastermind, Joe Biden, issues orders to his capos di regime:
“Send another truckload of ballots to Antrim County, STAT! … What? … It’s in Michigan, dammit! Google it! … Tell the ‘plumbers’ to goose up the algorithms in those Dominion machines in Maricopa County! … Raffensperger in Georgia wants his bribe sweetened? That dog-faced pony soldier! Hunter, put him in touch with your Ukrainian oligarch! Make him an offer! He can’t refuse!
“Kamala, did you take care of Bill Barr like I told you? Are you certain the girl has no family? That nobody knows that she worked there? … Good! It’ll be as if she never existed. All that’s left is our friendship with the attorney general.
“Here’s the deal, those election observers in Philly can see everything! They’re too damn close! Back ’em off! Come out blazing. Don’t look nobody directly in the eye — but you don’t look away, either. Hey, they’re gonna be scared stiff of you, believe me, so don’t worry about nothin’.”
The raucous caucus
… is busing to Washington D.C. on January 6, the 12th day of Christmas and, not coincidently, the day Congress ratifies the Presidential election. Or unratifies it, depending on your politics and mental health. The commander in chief is urging his True Believers to “be there and be
square wild.” Whatever could they have in mind? At $200 a head, a bus is leaving “from Wisconsin” January 5 for D.C., a social media post advises, but it doesn’t say from where in Wisconsin! (And we wonder why Democrats outsmart us all the time!)
Woebetide the bus driver, should he take a wrong turn and miss the fun! Conclusive evidence of treason!
We read that electoral votes are presented to Congress on that date in mahogany boxes. A gaggle of congressmen will move to block electors from six states, presumably Wisconsin. (One would hope!) We’re guessing on the grounds that Wisconsin’s box is knotty pine, not the authentic mahogany. Failing that, Penn & Teller will saw the box in half and give half our votes to Trump.
Meanwhile, the neo-communist Nation magazine declares “Trump is guilty of sedition and must be brought to justice.” Throw them under the bus, Gus (Hall)!
‘I will survive’:
Blaska’s Bottom Line: The truth, for many of our friends and acquaintances, is that which they wish to believe. Any evidence to the contrary is proof that the conspiracy is even deeper than you could possibly believe. Yet, still they believe.
What did you get Blaska for Christmas?
We wouldn’t mind moon beams in a jar but we prefer real estate.