Ruben, my loyal manservant, would you please get your nose out of the liquor cabinet and attend to the news reporters, camera people, and assorted visitors, dignitaries, and hangers-on waiting in the foyer! Tell them the press conference is about to begin. Are the Stately Manor collectibles properly arrayed on the table? We’ve got to move…

The Stately Manor’s satellite dishes are trained on Jeff Sessions’ confirmation hearings. Trained spotters here at the Policy Werkes are in some wonderment at the well timed disruptions of spectators shouting various unintelligible slogans. The  hearing started off with protestors wearing KKK sheets, thereby fulfilling the requirement that, at some point, the race card must be…

Heaven forfend anyone criticizing the University of Wisconsin’s flagship Madison campus. To cross that Rubicon is to brand oneself as a philistine, a rube —Vandals at the gates, Trump voters. The knee-jerk reaction from our … acquaintances is to defend the Leninist re-education camps our college campuses have become with high-minded prattle. Instead of encouraging…

Imagine that four white punks had tortured a disabled black kid and F-bombed Barack Obama for public amusement. There would be an desperate run on storefront plywood in Chicago. Sturm und drang from MSNBC. Turgid tsk-tsking from The Nation’s stable of socialists. Don Lemon extra Red Bull nasty. The victim invited to the White House. Inconveniently for the identity…

Did Julian Assange, the Russians or the WWE hack the presidential election? Not according to a social media friend, who has come forward to claim full responsibility. “I did it,” he says. “I elected Donald Trump. I voted for him.” Glad that is cleared up. The point is, not a single voting booth in America was hacked.…

Here is the plan: Mark this date: Tuesday, February 7 (a date that will live … in infamy!) That is when Squire will be driven through the protective gates of the Stately Manor, his gracious abode, to the Temple of Mammon, aka: the City-County Building in downtown Madison. He is scheduled to arrive minutes before…