Sarah is not normal

All hail Wisconsin’s Greta Thunberg!

Platinum subscribers worried about the Head Groundskeeper’s mental health after the April 7 election shellacking can be reassured. Long walks in the UW Arboretum seem to be helping. We’re eating solid food again and Blaska is allowed to be near sharp objects (but not CNN).

We’re actually optimistic about Republican chances here in Wisconsin this November. One reason: Democrats! They can’t help themselves! Especially when they think they have the wind at their sails.

There is Francesca Hong’s Woke neo-Stalinism. (Who votes NO on laws against grooming children?) He may not be an Eric Swalwell, but poll second-runner Mandela Barnes strikes us as Forrest Gump with a big box of surprises; you never know what you’re going to get.

Today’s thrilling episode thanks the Democrat running for lieutenant governor, Sarah Godlewski. The young lady shakes her fist at the sky like Grampa Simpson. She blames Republicans for this week’s hail storm. (Just missed the Stately Manor here on Madison’s SW side.)

Mizz Godlewski currently serves as Wisconsin’s secretary of state where she may have access to scissors. She fairly shrieks: “Republicans say we don’t have climate change but this is golf ball-sized hail in my front yard! This is not normal and we can’t keep ignoring our environment!” 

In my front yard, where my wife sleeps and my children play with their toys. IN MY FRONT YARD! — Michael Corleone

And you may ask yourself …

Actually golf ball-sized hail IS normal. This is Wisconsin in April. The largest hailstone officially verified in state history measured 5.7 inches in diameter; it fell near Wausau — in 1921. A golf ball is 1.68 inches in diameter. The biggest hailstone recovered since 1955 measured 5.5 inches in Port Edwards in 2007, according to the WI Climatology Office.

Climate change (formerly “global warming”) is taking on a kooks-only aura along with reparations, defund the police, and boys on the girls swimming team — among other pet Democrat causes. Climate change didn’t register among the top 10 issues concerning registered voters the last time the Marquette Law School poll asked Wisconsin voters.

If you want normal, we think Tom Tiffany, our Republican candidate for governor, knocks it out of the park. We only wish he had plopped one of Sarah’s hail stones into his brandy old fashioned in the spot he released today:

Blaska’s Bottom Line: Honest, Sarah! If Republicans were behind the hail storm we would have thrown in some snakes and toads. You betcha!

Or are we crazy after all?