Trump’s State of the Union address tonight?
This gracelessly aging bloggeur lights a small votive (and fruit fly repellant) candle to give thanks that we have not been elected to the speaker of any house, be it the WI State Assembly or the U.S. House of Representatives (or the Stately Manor when the Lovely Lisa is in residence). Not that we have been asked.
A requirement of the position, it appears, is to sit high upon the dais behind the governor or president whilst the chief executive reads his State of the State address, as Tony Evers did last week, or Donald Trump is about to do tonight for the Union, and not pick your nose.
The President is in some luck in that he will be book-ended by House Speaker Mike Johnson and Vice President J.D. Vance. Both are so much in Trump’s corner they blow their noses when the President sneezes. Their task, therefore, is to appear transfixed at their hero’s every utterance, as if witnessing the Miracle at Lourdes. Ready to leap to their feet at just the right moment and beat their paws raw. Pray, for their political fortunes, that a stray yawn does not insinuate itself upon their peaceful but patriotic visages, for the MAGA is an unforgiving bunch — alert to the slightest signs of heterodoxy.
Curbing our enthusiasm
A more difficult task confronted Wisconsin Assembly Speaker Robin Vos and Senate President Mary Felzkowski. Both Republicans had to sit up and play it straight while the Democrat read his little noted nor long remembered address. No booing, nary a grimace, not even a well timed roll of the eyes.
We’re still analyzing whether Vos was blinking Morse code like Captain Bucher after the North Koreans seized the USS Pueblo in 1968. Something along the lines of Get. Me. Outta. Here! Which he is, having announced his retirement from the legislature. (Who can blame him?)
The indentured servants ARE watching the State of the Union address tonight. Win worthless prizes by guessing …
How many:
1. Democrats will boycott? (Wild guess: 44. Will they have seat fillers like at the Academy Awards?)
2. Supreme Court justices show up? (The chief plus the 3 who voted for tariffs.)
3. Minutes will Trump speak? (Bill Clinton holds the record at 1:28:45 in 2000. At a non-SOTU joint session last year, Trump racked up 1:39:32. )
4. Times interrupted by applause? (Record is 128 by Bill Clinton, also 26 years ago.)
5. Democrats will stand and applaud for U.S. Olympic hockey team? (All who are present. Like even rescue dogs, they can learn after sitting on their hands when the family of illegal immigrant victim Laken Riley was introduced.)
6. Times the President says “Greenland.” (Throwing long: zero!)
Bonus, platinum subscriber questions:
a) What incident will this State of the Union address be known for? (Think: Pelosi tearing up copy of the speech; Justice Alito mouthing “Not True” at Obama’s lies.)
b) Will Democrat women send some sort of sartorial message? (All masked like I.C.E. agents?)
c) Which cabinet secretary will be left at home in case of nuclear attack? (Pam Bondi is in the doghouse.)
Blaska’s Bottom Line: Abigail Spanberger will deliver the Democrat response. The new governor of Virginia campaigned in the middle of the road but announced a program that made Zohran Mamdani envious — she’s all in on climate alarmism, DEI, and open borders.
Wanna bet she goes all Trumpie?
because that’s still their best issue.
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