No offense!
We survived no football the previous weekend, the fault of two simultaneous bye weeks between the Badgers and the Packers. Coincidence? We think not! (WI Attorney General Josh Kaul should investigate!) But today, this Monday morning quarterback’s Size D cup runneth over!
Our social media feed is chock-a-block with Chicago Bears fans cursing and, one suspects, clutching their chests off camera — like Chris Farley with a hunk of bratwurst lodged in an artery. Most heart-rending is video of a 5-year-old boy hurtling himself face-first into the couch in grief over the game-ending blocked field goal that preserved the Packers’ 20 to 19 victory.
All we can say is, Better you than us, kid!
Some say the Packers were lucky to win. I ask the Peanut Gallery, anyone think blocking a field goal is easy? In your face is a 300-pound offensive lineman trying to plant you in the turf. You’ve got to jump high as you can wearing a full suit of body armor. Time that jump just right, extend your arm until it’s out of its socket, and take a football traveling at 60 mph off your finger tips to block the damn thing. For which triumph you work the machines and practice countless hours under an assistant coach barking at you like Gunnery Sgt. Hartman in Full Metal Jacket. Some luck!
The voice in your ear piece
From our premium seats in front the b&w Philco a week ago when Wisconsin was bereft of football, we witnessed the Bears QB get pummeled by the pitiful Patriots, who toyed with Caleb Williams like a Rottweiler with a rag doll — 9 sack-a-ronies! The Bears rookie was held to completing only 16 of 30 passes for a pitiful 120 yards in a 19-3 loss. Mind you, this guy was the Number One pick in the college draft — the (latest) future of the frustrating Bears.
So the Chicago team fired its no-offense coordinator for an underling who had the brilliant idea to examine what made Caleb Williams tick at USC and had him do the same against the Packers: short passes, get rid of the ball quicker, and use your feet! Resulted in a better stat line of 23 completions out of 31 attempts for 231 yards — and only three sacks.
Play to your strengths
Which gets us to Phil Longo, until Sunday 11-17-24 the offensive un-coordinator the Wisconsin Badgers. We don’t want to get too much over our skis but seems one cannot do an Air Raid offense without, you know, someone who throws the ball real good. Could we try the veer?
Braeden Locke seems to imitate Russell Wilson once a game with an amazing, big-yardage, over-the-shoulder catch per game but then reverts to missing short drop-offs. Seems like a fine young man but we doubt even St. Vincent of Lombardi could turn our current QB into a Bart Starr (who was, lest we forget, was chosen in the 17th round as the 200th pick in the 1956 draft).
Blaska’s Bottom Line: If need be, play the next guy on the bench. Still and all, to play Number One Oregon close in a 16 to 13 loss isn’t apple sauce. The D is there. Give credit to Luke Fickell for decisiveness, anyway.
Wasn’t that Trump’s criticism of Joe Biden?
( … that he never fired anyone?)
13 responses to “Blaska coordinates your offense”
Bryan Bartlett Starr was selected 200th, but that pick was in the 17th Round of the ’56 draft.
In his certified Red Room©™®, The Gotch has an autographed picture of him getting chased down by a 6’8″ (immense for that era) Doug Atkins in a Halloween 1965 game, which the then respectable Bears won. The 13 Time World Champion Green Bay Packers returned the favor, with interest, in 1994
Since Favre resurrected a moribund franchise on life support in 1992, Titletown’s finest are 51-15 against the pitiably pathetic Bi-Polar bares; an enviable .773 record….or what we in the business call DOMINATION!
“Could we try the veer?”
HeyZeus Alou, Blaska, bite your tongue; that dark chapter mercifully ended in 1989***, 35 years ago as we speak.
The Gotch
***1989 was also the season of the exciting Cardiac Pack, and their 1st winning season since 1972.
The season’s biggest win was against (you guessed it) the comically inept midgets of the midway in the 11/05/1989 Instant Replay Game, which the whiny McCaskey family mourns to this day.
The Gotch
From Wikipedia:
“Nearing the end of his failed stint at Wisconsin, Morton, on his coaches’ show, emerged from a coffin to declare that he wasn’t dead yet.”
Fine sense of humor and the abysmal program got us Barry Alvarez. Rumor is Barry’s first words to the players was “I will not be embarrassed here”.
I think Fickell is there now.
now let’s talk about the penalty that wasn’t called.
The Gotch’s neighbor has très deep U.W. Athletic Department ties (former official Camp Randall Game Clock timer, Mendota/Gridiron Clubs, Red Sweater crowd, etc.) who believes that AD Chris McIntosh (a nut-cutter supreme, who dispassionately dispatched both Chryst as coach and the beloved Mike Lucas from the broadcast booth; each without a second thought) had a brief conversation with Fickell, (that night, or early the next morning) which amounted to “Your choice; you $#!tcan him, or I will.”
Fickell? These next two (2) weeks present (IMO) the steepest challenges he’s ever faced as a coach.
He’s got his work cut out for him; keeping the current team focused (Lincoln’s Memorial Stadium [sold out since 10/20/1962!] and the hungry/p!$$ed Huskers loom), keeping the recruiting class together, avoiding mass transfers, and cruising the portal.
Bud Fox (Charlie Sheen in Wallstreet) said it best: “Life Comes Down To A Few Moments. This Is One Of Them.”
The Gotch
Also applicable:
“Man looks in the abyss, there’s nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss.“
– The legendary Hal Holbrook as Lou Mannheim
Great, and ever-quotable (IMO), movie that The Gotch will jump into at any juncture, whenever it’s on.
Holbrook had so many great characters; Lieutenant Neil Briggs in Magnum Force and Ron Franz in Into The Wild come to mind.
The Gotch
Lucas needed to go before he got there. The guy was a mope in the booth.
Good stuff, Gotch. Entirely credible. I worked with Mike Lucas at The Capital Times. A real schitt.
Why was the Bob Dean reply spiked?
“I worked with Mike Lucas at The Capital Times. A real schitt.”
Schitt not intended as flattery…?
The Gotch’s Dear late 80 year-old Father ( a HUGE Lucas fan!) was badly injured in 2005 ~06:00 a.m. while biking his way to work at the Athletic Department Equipment Room @Camp Randall, landing him in the I.C.U.
Lucas made a special trip to drop off a coupla signed copies of his The 25 Greatest Moments In Camp Randall History; one for the certified Red Room©™®, and one to accompany Dear Father during his lengthy recovery.
And it wasn’t just a drive-by; we talked at length about the recent (10/24/2005) U.W. thriller over #14 Michigan at Camp Randall (J. Stocco QB draw for the winning TD with .24 seconds left!) He didn’t have to do that, and couldn’t have been more gracious.
The Gotch
Whassup? You’re not getting enough play in the comment section?
Bi-Polar bares EXCUSE FOR BLOCKED FIELD GOAL Is Beyond Embarrassing
Ah, midgets of the midway; so MUCH worthlessness, so little time!
The Gotch
Think the Bi-Polar bares could possibly get any more pitiably pathetic?
Soon_To_Be_Furloughed coach EberFLUB says: Hold My Beer; to wit:
midgets of the midway File Complaint After Packers Game Winning Field Goal Block
The complaint? A 13 Time World Champion Green Bay Packer lined up over center on the FG attempt, which is a penalty…when it happens; video evidence clearly shows otherwise.
What monumental embarrassments these laughable half-wits are…quite like their fans!
The Gotch