It’s a bear market

Not only on Wall Street!

My man Bobby Junior left a dead bear cub in New York’s Central Park 10 years ago. Just owning up to it now. Placed an old bicycle next to it to make it appear a hit and run. The mystery made all the newspapers. We merde you not!

Turns out that Bobby found the dead bear as road kill and intended to save the meat for his fridge, he says. Not the freezer. (Must be a restaurant-sized SubZero.) Picking up road kill for the larder. Sounds like one of the boys — one of the boys training to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer. (A widespread compulsion deserving of its own entry in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition. We keep a copy at bedside.)

But while Bobby Junior is dining on steak (presumably Angus rather than Ursus Americanus) at a posh restaurant in the City, realizes he has a plane to catch for some place like Biarritz with 50 pounds of dead bear stinking up his Ford Econoline. That’s when the thought bubble lit up over his head: You know what would be fun? Apparently, he had a beat-up bicycle back there with the bear. Story doesn’t say but may have scavenged that, too. Along with a Barcalounger found curbside, probably. Set of flares and one of those Not Sold in Stores emergency glass-breaking hammers you buy on TV for when you over-shoot the bridge at Chappaquiddick.

Junior told the story to Roseanne Barr (who is owed a return to prime time TV. Could she marry Kelsey Grammer on Frasier?) Junior “was very open about the follies of his youth and I enjoyed talking to him very much,” Barr told the Wall Street Journal. Bobby the Second would have been 60 when he deposited the bear. Hey, you’re as young as your follies.

 Sending a message

•  We see that “Karmela” picks the governor of Minnesota, guy named Walz, as her running mate. (Not to be confused with Jack Woltz the movie producer in The Godfather.) The governor of Minne-SO-tah speaks Midwest. Yer darn tootin’, Marge! So Not Weird. A cuddly old dog one pats on the head after he’s ripped out your enemy’s stuffing and scattered it all over the living room. An old-looking 60. If “Karmela” serves two full terms, Tim Walz is not likely to pre-empt other Democrats angling for the prize.

He’s Wisconsin’s Tony Evers, but with a pulse.

•  But where was Governor Walz when the mayor of Minneapolis was begging for National Guardsmen as the Woke Left burned his city in the name of a petty criminal? Did “Karmela” kowtow to her party’s anti-Semites by spurning Josh Shapiro? Pennsylvania remains in play!

Walz himself called his state’s response to the outbreak of urban violence in the summer of 2020 an “abject failure,” and deservedly so. — Noah Rothman, National Review  

•  Speaking of anti-Semites, anyone want to bet that Cori Bush goes down (hard) in her St. Louis district today? (No, not like Karmela. Stop it!) Following Jamaal Bowman’s five-alarm fire self-immolation in New York. Anticipating how Comrade Nichols and the cadres at The Nation will spin the latest rejection of a Squad member.

→ Only The Nation would go looking for “The lost stories of the Communist Internationale.” (It’s always the last place you look.)

•  The Republican nominee, meanwhile, plays the race card and attacks Republican governors who promise, nonetheless, to vote for him. Also refuses to debate the Democrat(ic) nominee unless it can be held in a place where he’ll feel safe. (A bar, a restaurant, someplace where there are people …)

•  If this stock market doesn’t improve, the Head Groundskeeper may need to return to a life of crime. The Biden/Harris economy may yet elect the Republican ticket despite its best efforts at self-sabotage.

Blaska’s Bottom Line: We still intend to throw away our vote to the man with a worm in his brain. At least he has an excuse.

Anyone think we’re done with campaign surprises?