Badgers can beat Purdue but not James Madison?
The first half of the Badgers game against James Madison U. last night was excruciating. Embarrassing. Triggering! Need a Disturbing Content advisory.
The Badgers were shaken, not stirred. Flustered. Tried to play at the same frenetic pace as the Dukes of Harrisonburg, who will now move on to play the Blue Devils of Duke in the NCAA tournament round of 32. Consequence of throwing the ball away four of the first five possessions. Like the ball was dipped in [spit]. Nineteen for the game. Our number #5 seed lost to the #12 seed, 72-61. Greg Gard’s team is not a comeback team. When they’re going to lose, you know if from the get-go.
Ol’ Sparky, our Eisenhower-era mainframe computer, says Bucky needed to blow the dust off Connor Essegian — Relieve His Pain — so the sharpshooter could make it rain threes, thereby freeing up the middle so AJ Storr could finish at the rim. Eliminate all that pesky ball handling. Even Purdue knows they need threes to capitalize on Zach Edey.
Thought Chuckie Hepburn could have taken the ball to the hoop instead of passing off. With a ball hawking team like the Dukes (not to be confused with those Mike — SPELL CHECK PLS! — Krzyzewski teams), the fewer passes the better. Drive the basket and draw the foul.
We went to bed at halftime
Felt like Butch and Sundance, “Who Are These Guys?” Turns out the fast-growing school is located in Harrisonburg VA, population 52,000, in the beautiful Shenendoah Valley, a redoubt to which the Army of Virginia would retreat when the battlefield did not go well. The school, apparently, is not named after Vel Phillips. Teaches a hefty 22,224 students. Founded in 1908 as the State Normal and Industrial School for Women. (Has a certain ring.) Has an old campus and a new campus, the latter which is intersected by Interstate Highway 81. Lovely.
→ Trivia Tidbit: That irksome, multi-lingual “No Matter Where You Are From, We’re Glad You Are Our Neighbor” sign originated in Harrisonburg. How does one say Now Mind Your Own Business in Arabic?
The NCAA basketball tournament is an education; one learns the names of schools you never knew existed (and suspect might not). Stetson? (All hat and no cattle?) Grand Canyon? Longwood? Thought the U of Oakland was located east of San Francisco and not in the Detroit suburbs. A Dodge automobile heiress paid for it. Love its coach, Greg Kampe, toiling 40 years in obscurity before his Number #14 seed knocks off blueblood Kentucky. Jack Gohlke from Pewaukee for 3! Love how the sixth-year, former Division 2 student grabs the microphone at the game-ending interview to interject, “We are not a Cinderella Team.” Gohlke scores!
If Greg Gard is in trouble, just imagine the Kentucky Wildcat hounds baying for John Calipari’s hide!
xxx xxx
Blaska’s Bottom Line: Fast beats slow. Hungry beats satisfied. Problem is, James Madison is going nowhere in the tourney. (We like Marquette and Illinois!) The Head Groundskeeper remembers the bad old days of UW Badger sports in the 1980s when chancellor Irving Shain publicly shamed athletic director Crazy Legs Hirsch, the lead-up to the lost years of Ade Sponberg, Don Morton and Steve Yoder. Expectations are much higher now; just ask Paul Chryst.
6 responses to “We could stands it no more!”
That was FUGLY. They picked the wrong team and the wrong night to come out flat and sloppy.
To their credit JMU (who along with Yale, The Gotch picked in his UPSET SPECIAL bracket) plays outstanding defense; sheesh, they out-Buckyed Bucky!
“The Head Groundskeeper remembers the bad old days of UW Badger sports in the 1980s“
The 80s? Hellz Bellz Blaska, howse about the mid-late 60s? The Gotch’s Dear late Father took him to every Field House home game; some nights you could’ve shaved that last 0 off’n the expected Faithful 5000.
His favorite Lily in a Sea of Weeds? Them opening a can of Whupp@$$ on #4 Kansas in late 1968 when sophomore (frosh were ineligible) Clarence Sherrod (who won two [2] championships with Milwaukee Lincoln in 1966 and 1967) stifled All American Jo Jo White.
You want frenetic? That ’67 team (which featured another lights out jump shootin’ guard named Downtown Freddie Brown) averaged…AVERAGED…over 99 points a game…in 32 minutes…with NO_3_POINT_SHOT!
Alas, the Badger Flags are furled, the Lucky Basketball (?) is mothballed, and the Game Day Gear will be washed-n-stowed. Sigh, a little nostalgia is good for a bruised soul.
The Gotch
Mr. Gotch, I should have said long ago how much I appreciate your ability to “turn a phrase”. Please keep it up!
The Gotch
Gard’s gotta go.
What? James Madison Memorial beat the Wisconsin Badgers in NCAA basketball? Truly, Bucky us about to be left un-Garded next year.
GO ILLINOIS!!!!!