‘Gimme Shelter’ instead of Jump Around?
A strange emotion washed over the Head Groundskeeper as his flickering b&w Philco displayed the 24-10 beatdown the Northwestern (usually) Mildcats administered to my beloved Wisconsin Badger footballers Saturday 11-11-23 here in Madison WI. A team Wisconsin beat 42-7 last year — in Evanston IL.
Anger, sure. But that’s Blaska waking up in the morning. Disappointed, yes. But that’s Blaska on most Christmas mornings. After a fruitless consult with Doctor Google, I turned (in some desperation) to the Lovely Lisa. Sounds like you have — brace yourself, she cautioned — something like empathy.
‘Wisconsin fans are angry and have a right to be.’ — Jim Polzin, WI State Journal
Blaska has heard of empathy. Thought it afflicted only progressives. Were we not (in the words of Aaron Rodgers) “immunized”? What good is being Republican if you’re going to sob over the plight of others?
But there it was, empathy for Luke Fickell, the first-year coach of the Wisconsin Badgers. Arrived in Madison to more hosannas than a Bernie Sanders rally on Capitol Square. Badger fans had visions of shaming Jim Harbaugh before a national audience; giving Ohio State an artificial turf burn. Playing Alabama for the national title.
Sportswriters are starting to invoke the name "Don Morton" — the Badger equivalent of "Jimmy Carter."
Instead, Fickell’s vaunted Air Raid offense has Badger fans duck and covering under their premium seats. Who else were the 72,000 fans at Camp Randall stadium — many of them sober — going to blame? The one-armed quarterback? Mr. Offsides?
No, those 72,000 were venting their ire at Luke Fickell. Maybe some extra bile for offensive (un)coordinator Phil Longo. (From what we could see on our Philco, the man suffers from some serious palsy. Any more shaking and the man is going to rattle and roll. Maybe that was the problem. His players thought he was relaying signals!)
Anyhoo, back to the “empathy” thing. We have some but we think we can turn it into millions of filthy lucre for the Blaska Retirement Trust. We hope to go on Shark Tank to entice Mr. Wonderful to bankroll our unpatented invention: The Losing Coach’s Shelter.
Football already employs the medical tent for injured and dying players. (The public address announcer: Is there a priest in the house?) In the last three years, 14 college coaches have been fired — in mid-season. (The public address announcer in the fourth quarter: Would Coach Fickell please report to Human Relations?)
There is Coach Fickell on the sidelines watching the ball hit the receiver in a bad place — the hands — thrown well short of the line to gain. Surrounding the coach are 72,000 fans fighting the urge to throw their own projectiles, shout their own instructions in basic anglo-saxon, and go off-sides themselves.
Like the airlines commercial says: Want to get away? Hide your shame in the security of our Losing Coach’s Shelter!
Blaska’s Bottom Line: Until production begins, Coach Fickell could take a page from Jim Harbaugh’s playbook: coach the next game from the comfort of a room at the Ramada Inn.
13 responses to “Wisconsin Badger football fans are Fickell”
Don Morton was worse than Jimmy Carter. Don Morton would have lost all 50 states.
[…] This post originally appeared at https://davidblaska.com/2023/11/12/wisconsin-badger-football-fans-are-fickell/ […]
” ‘Wisconsin fans are angry and have a right to be.’ — Jim Polzin, WI State Journal
Polzin’s grades (Offense—F, Defense—F, Special Teams—D, Overall—F) were charitable.
FoxSports color man/former OSU/NFL running back Robert Smith painfully observed (from the booth!) that the Badger sideline had absolutely no emotion or energy.
Bucky last week: Unequivocally a low point
Bucky yesterday: Hold my beer.
Lou Mannheim (Hal Holbrook in Wall Street): Man looks in the abyss, there’s nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss.
We best hope Fickell hasn’t lost this team.
The Gotch
I hope they figure something out by next year when they get to play Alabama, USC, Penn State and Oregon. No Michigan or Ohio State but not an easy schedule.
I cannot remember another time when they lost to both Indiana and Northwestern in the same season, and I’ve been watching Badger football since Harry Stuhldreyer was the coach.
“I cannot remember another time when they lost to both Indiana and Northwestern in the same season”
That’d be 1968…Bucky-n-John Coatta had a perfect record, that year.
“I’ve been watching Badger football since Harry Stuhldreyer was the coach.”
Stuhldreyer coached his last game with the Badgers in 1948; you’ve been at it a long time!
The Gotch
Um….https://uwbadgers.com/sports/football/schedule/1990
First year coach Barry Alvarez went 1-10. Good thing we kicked that guy to the curb.
Nice catch, OE; The Gotch went straight to (groan!) 1989 and went back from there.
The Gotch
” What good is being Republican if you’re going to sob over the plight of others? “
Sobbing is a feature of SYMPATHY; you’re emotionally involved and part of the problem.
Nonesuch exists with EMPATHY, when you’re emotionally detached and can become part of a solution.
HoF NFL coach Marv Levy loosely quoted: “Football is blocking and tackling; when you don’t block and tackle, you have bad luck.”
The Gotch
Patience please. I’m reminded of the coach who was asked about the turning point in a recent loss.
“The worst part was when I didn’t recruit a good halfback two years ago.”
Brutal, but true. Chryst never cared for recruiting, and it shows. There are no sure NFL players on our roster for the first time in many years. Yes, Braylon Allen will get drafted and get a shot, but he’s far from a sure thing to play in the NFL. People got all fired up when Fickell started getting 5- and 4-star recruits (that we never got before,) but only a handful were transfers eligible for this year. As One-eye points out, even St. Barry went 1-10 his first year. Let him get a majority of his own players at least before you start whining about the results. You can’t turn a pound and ground offense into the Air Raid overnight. You need the talent.
Unless the show on the field improves, the restless fans might resurrect the old Rufus Ferguson-era tradition of passing a cheerleader up to the top of the stadium. At least the crowd was engaged.
Speaking of The Roadrunner, the Badgers had his 2024 Class LB grandson Rufus Ferguson II up for a recruiting visit last April.
The Gotch
Phil Longo’s reaction to Saturday:
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7cd3a43b52a1801571bba01f8cffd9c0b889cde4137b34baa2213cca2d65789f.jpg
The Gotch