Fouls most personal as 49ers lose to Philadelphia
but win boxing and big-time wrestling match

The old joke is that you go to a fight and a hockey game breaks out. San Francisco 49ers at Philadelphia Eagles for the NFC championship Sunday 01-30-23 should have been narrated by Don Dunphy and sponsored by Gillette Safety Razors.

If it could go wrong for the 49ers, it did go wrong. Starting with the sensational, one-hand reaching backwards catch by Philadelphia’s DeVonta Smith for 29 yards. The play — on fourth down and 3 yards go! — led to the Eagles’ first score. Except that it wasn’t a catch. Saw that on our b&w Philco on the second replay, before the otherwise excellent Fox announcers. (“He missed the tag! He missed the tag!) Ball hit the ground under the receiver before he recovered. Philly wisely hurried its next play to preclude a SF challenge.

Will the Eagles’ victory be overturned? Sorry, patriots, life doesn’t work that way.

Only six plays into their first offensive series, the 49ers quarterback gets knocked out of the game. Rookie Brock Purdy was the last player chosen in the draft, traditionally nicknamed Mr. Irrelevant. Improbably, the third-string rookie was working on a seven-game winning streak. Insult to his injury, Purdy’s incomplete pass was ruled a lost fumble.

Two and one-half minutes into the second half, HIS back-up — having already fumbled away the hike — is waylaid by a concussion (courtesy of veteran thug Ndamukong Suh). Injured starter Purdy was pushed back onto the field except that he couldn’t throw the ball and the Eagles, the TV audience, and the hot dog vendor knew it. Down 31 to 7 in the fourth quarter, every play but two was an increasingly desperate and unsuccessful run.

Referee should have called the game

On Philadelphia’s second touchdown drive, San Francisco commits three penalties — negating a third-down stop and a QB sack. Now it’s the third quarter, they’re down 21 to 7. If the 49ers were going to win, their defense would have to make a stop and, hopefully, a takeaway. Forced Philly to punt but, would you not know it! — the Niners roughed the kicker, giving the ball right back to the Eagles. 

The 49ers weren’t done shooting themselves in the foot. Eagles QB Jalen Hurts runs for 14 yards to the 7 yard line before going out of bounds, where he is foolishly shoved by the SF safety. Penalty: half the distance to the goal leading to another Philly TD.

Trent Williams with the classic “If I’m getting blown out I’m getting thrown out” mentality, gotta respect it

— Tate Frazier (@tatefrazier) January 29, 2023

Back to the neutral corner!

We get trying to punch the ball out of the opponents’s grasp, but 49er Dre Greenlaw looked like like Ali finishing off Foreman in the Rumble in the Jungle. The oft-penalized Greenlaw (already guilty of grabbing a face mask) kept pummeling Philly running back Kenneth Gainwell well after the play had been whistled dead. Another penalty for unnecessary roughness. Automatic first down and 15 yards to the Niners’ 14. Eagles’ field goal makes the final score 31-7.

With no real passing game and 4:13 left to play, the 49ers are frustrated. The play over, the SF tackle Trent Williams picks up Philadelphia’s safety and slams him to the ground. Another 15 yards for unnecessary roughness and an automatic first down. A full-scale scrum ensues, both players are ejected.

Blaska’s Bottom Line: Three times the stadium public address announcer beseeched players to return to their sidelines. Like a boxing referee.

Didn’t Jack Dempsey lose by not returning to the neutral corner?