Man on the 20 mph-street question

No idea is too stupid for Madison WI

Give the City of Madison credit (and a generous bar tab). The Emerald City is always experimenting. Streets in two neighborhoods will test lower traffic speed limits — 20 mph, down from 25 mph. The City is also closing portions of other streets to encourage pedestrians and bicycles.

Being Madison, the city’s pedestrian bicycle administrator (does YOUR town have one?) lamented that last year’s street closures ended up being in “Whiter, weathier neighborhoods.” This time, the city will use Equity (we capitalize this holy term) as a “core consideration.”

The Werkes sent its undocumented immigrant (and unpaid) intern to flag down rush hour traffic on the South Beltline to ask:

What Equity experiments the city should attempt next?

Madame Brenda

“Bring back the Red Light District at King and Main to revitalize the Downtown.”


“There’s too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.”

Miss Joan Crawford

“Could we set up a crime-free zone somewhere in town? Drive 35 mph just don’t steal my car.”

Freedom Inc.

“Set up a cop-free Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone from Whitney Way to Stoughton Road. It seems to work in Seattle.”

Rex Brexit

“Madison should secede from the U.S., learn Spanish and annex to Cuba.”


“Charge parents in court with the same crimes as their delinquent kids.”

How would YOU improve Madison?

About David Blaska

Madison WI
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14 Responses to Man on the 20 mph-street question

  1. Mike says:

    Convert the left lane of the Beltline to a bicycle only lane.


    • madtownforsure says:

      That thinking 30 years ago that everyone would don spandex and ride their bikes back and forth to work. Why beltline was stalled for so many years. Why beltline is only 6 lanes when it should have had 8, and overpasses 3 stories high, no stop and go like Verona road. Always horse and buggy thinking from city and the DOT. Now, all summer there will be monster backups from the speeders with no plates on their cars going in and out of lanes doing about 80 mph., never any police to stop them, they are scared to stop them, but in residential streets they put up radar. Every residential hood want speed bumps or radar. But, nope not from our leader (joke)., she never drives, owns no car, but had the guts to add on fee for buses to go ahead of others sitting at a stoplight. No, people will still drive their cars, especially the burb drivers from the outside city limits will not ride a bus. 100,000 maybe that come in to Madison every day. Do something about the ones with no plates going 80 to 90 everywhere lane to lane with no regard for human life. We know who they are but no one in law enforcement will touch them.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Gary L. Kriewald says:

      Why just the left lane? Talk about being marginalized!


  2. Landon Perkins says:

    Designate State Street as an Area 51 site.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bill says:

    Free pot for everyone. That way, if everyone is stoned, nothing will matter.


    • Gary L. Kriewald says:

      The dolts who run this city are already stoned on left-wing ideology. It’s a high that never fades.


  4. Here’s a few more ideas that should progressives should propose, what could go wrong?

    Ban all K-12 and College grading systems in City of Madison.

    Ban door locks on everything within in the City of Madison, locking up personal possessions of any kind becomes a prosecutable crime.

    Police are only allowed to respond to vehicle crashes to help get the streets cleared, don’t call them for anything else.

    Ban the use of all forms of carbon based fuels within the City of Madison, bike it, hike it, or go electric, no exceptions.

    Electric vehicles are to be provided for all persons in the City of Madison that are non-white and over the age of 12.

    All white people in the City of Madison must wear a blaze orange “R”, for racist, on their outer garment so it is visible to everyone at all times. White people not wearing the “R” are subject to punishment by anyone that witnesses the infraction, punishment is immediate and chosen by the witness of the offense, no excuses, no appeals.

    All City of Madison taxes for non-white people are banned.

    White people in the City of Madison making under $250,000 per year get taxed at a rate of 50% of their gross, no exceptions. White people in the City of Madison making over $250,000 get taxed at a rate of 70% of gross, no exceptions.

    Ban all rent and mortgages for non-whites in the City of Madison, no grandfathering.

    Ban all forms of ID in the City of Madison.

    Make all forms of recreational drugs and alcohol legal in the City of Madison regardless of age.

    The only people allowed to vote in the City of Madison are those that do not have a blaze orange “R” on their outer garment, no exceptions.

    If you’re a non-white person, your perceived need overrules the law, if you need it, take it, no charge to you the nearest person bearing an “R” will be required to pay for your perceived need.

    Make it illegal in the City of Madison to question anyone that doesn’t have an “R” on their outer garment. Reeducation camps will be setup to house and reprogram anyone that violates this and white people will pay for the reeducation.

    and last but not least…

    All white people in the City of Madison are required to provide free home and board for at least 5 “undocumented” immigrants for life. Any white person with a home over 1000 square feet is required to provide free home and board for life for additional “undocumented” immigrants at a rate of one additional “undocumented” immigrant for every additional 200 square feet in their home.

    Any non-white person unable to provide for themselves or their family will be housed in white people’s homes.

    There, that should get everyone started down the “right” progressive track.

    Liked by 3 people

    • madtownforsure says:

      You forgot to mention the rezoning to allow backyard cottages for the ones who do not work, will never work, and do not want to work. Those big yards will be no more under our great leader. (laughing on the floor).

      Liked by 1 person

    • No Body says:

      Ban the use of all forms of carbon based fuels within the City of Madison, bike it, hike it, or go electric, no exceptions.

      Banning all carbon based life forms would solve everything. Some head-in-the-silicon-sand conservatives would oppose it, though.


  5. One eye says:

    Outlaw cars, electricity, natural gas, running water, etc.
    They all come from “white supremacy” .

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gary L. Kriewald says:

      This attitude was never demonstrated more shockingly than when Jenifer Granholm, upon being asked about drivers on the East Coast sitting in gas lines for hours, replied with a smirk that if they were driving electric cars, there would be no problem. Exactly why Trump got elected. You can count on one thing from the left: they never learn.


  6. sentient7 says:

    As though it mattered, stop smoking the bong before writing the next column.


  7. Tom PITA says:

    Vision Zero initiative. Search on ‘reduced speed limit initiative’ and notice how many cities, completely non-coincidentally, are doing exactly the same thing at exactly the same time. Vision Zero – National Recommendations: Addressing Safety & Equity
    with the Safe System Approach, which is one small part of the Agenda 2030 for Sustainable Development. Don your R emblazoned blazers now.

    Liked by 1 person

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