The envelope, please

Or is it the bucket list?

Time was when the head groundskeeper at the Manor would rush out to the local cineplex on the day of the awards ceremony to complete watching the list of the best-picture Oscar nominees. Back home that night, warm up the b&w Philco and twist the rabbit ears for the big broadcast of 1990-something, empty a few cans of PBR, spot Jack Nicholson sitting up front, and cheer on our favorites. Those were the days, my friends.

Not doing that this year. We did see Mank via Netflix; took this viewer a half hour before we could get into it. (We do love Gary Oldman. How does one do Winston Churchill AND Ludwig van Beethoven AND Sid Vicious? Also Charles Dance as Old Man Hearst; loved him in The Crown as Dickie Mountbatten.)

Poster of Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Stewardesses
A true classic

Enjoyed the Trial of the Chicago 7, also via Netflix at the Manor. (We salt our own popcorn.) Back in the ‘60s we debated the same argument Abbie Hoffman and Tom Hayden engaged in: are you in it to make change or be the Big Man On Campus? How was Mark Rylance as attorney William Kunstler not nominated for best supporting actor? (That’s always a fun game.) What a hoot Frank Langella as Judge Julius Hoffman! (He can preside over the next impeachment trial.)

We wanted to catch Nomadland until we read Maureen Dowd (yes, one of the essentials) this morning.

As a Hollywood writer friend of mine said after she watched Nomadland“That was not entertainment. That was Frances McDormand having explosive diarrhea in a plastic bucket in a van.”

Party pooper!

If they’re going to give away the plot like that, count me out. Doesn’t say if her van was located down by the river. The author of the book upon which the movie is based has a companion piece in this morning’s NY Times — another in the never-ending Woke Times’ series of Americans Living In Fear. “People who make their vehicles their homes should not have to live in fear.” Nor should actresses with explosive diarrhea. Just the people in the vicinity.

We may tune in to the awards show just to see if it is as (ahem) explosive as advertised. But we will NOT put up with Ms. McDormand guilt-tripping the indentured servants like she did after winning for A Couple Thousand Billboards in that Missouri Town, or some such. Is it too late for Joe Biden to add a billion five-gallon plastic buckets to his infrastructure bill?

If we do watch, we are hitting the Philco’s off switch at any mention of the following words: “Daunte, Breonna, Ma’Khia, disproportionate, systemic, privilege,” or “diarrhea.” Any praise for Joe Biden or Kamala Harris gets muted. Also, no damn masks unless they made a sequel to the Lone Ranger that we missed.

Atone for Harvey Weinstein

Serves them right if nobody wins Best Picture, Actress, et cetera. (By the sound of it, Ms. McDormand has a lock on special effects.) Some years, none should be given; other years, several. Almost every movie released in 1939 is a Best Picture. In our book, Back to the Future, Goodfellas, and Groundhog Day are true classics. Renewed viewings continue to reward. Would you rather see each of those three today than the movie that won those years? (Respectively: Out of Africa, Dances with Wolves, — O.K., Schindler’s List deserved to win in 1994 but we don’t mind returning to Groundhog Day again and again. (Which is the idea.)

Blaska’s Closing CreditsWe miss Billy Crystal hosting. He was FUNNY! Or, for that matter, Johnny Carson or Bob Hope. Bring back that streaker (and his shortcomings). Gee our old La Salle ran great!

Whom do YOU want to win?

About David Blaska

Madison WI
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12 Responses to The envelope, please

  1. georgessson says:

    I fear it’s gonna be a very short view for ya, David. In anticipation of much “woke-ness, instead we here have lined up a choice old classic. Didn’t like scolding as a youth, cannot stand it now.

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  2. One eye says:

    You could make a “Bob”-like drinking game out of it. With all the digital monitoring nowadays does the Nielsen company know the exact moments people stop watching?

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  3. One eye says:

    oh and my dream cohosts would be Ricky Gervais and Kevin Spacey in character as Frank Underwood.

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  4. One eye says:

    Wow less than 2 minutes in. Last thing I heard was something about reaching for the remote…yup.

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  5. Balboa says:

    Seriously, the fact they even are giving out Oscars for 2020 is complete and utter crap. There is no Cinema for 2020, you might as well just re-watch the Democratic Convention for the entertainment value or the 1st and 2nd impeachment trials.

    Cobra Kai , seasons 1-3, about the best entertainment Hulu/Netflix has ever offered, Season 4 on its way.

    Those Vaccinated go out and enjoy life, those vaccinated in waiting stay safe. Those Vaccination Deniers or abstainers stay home and wear hefty 2 ply I do not give a crap about you all.

    Turn off, Turn Out, Only Vote Republican

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  6. A Voice in the Wilderness says:

    Am looking forward to The Handmaid’s Tale season 4. Enjoyed The Man in the High Castle (what if the Axis powers had “won” World War II). Amazon Prime.

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  7. dekerivers says:

    I can relate to your Oscar post. You nailed the mood and tone by writing “spot Jack Nicholson sitting up front”. Right!! I started watching the Oscars as a teenager, and never miss it each year. Films should transport us to places (good and bad) and Oscar night should be about movie-making magic. I recall Carson as host and loved him, Billy, too! The trend over recent years is to be very contemporary and play not to the iconic past but strive to connect with a younger demographic. In so doing the Oscars broadcast is losing ratings, and after last night, oxygen itself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • georgessson says:

      Deke, as you said: “Films should transport us to places (good and bad) and Oscar night should be about movie-making magic.” They got us thru the depression, the rise of the Nazi’s, WW2, and never skipped a beat. They complemented the 50’s way of life, and sought to sort out the 60’s angst. And by the 70’s & 80’s s-o-o many entertaining movies, for every taste. These days its punishment to watch their “best” efforts. BTW, the current actors I like the most? Those who perfect their craft and never climb the “Woke” platform.

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  8. One eye says:

    #OscarsSoAbleist

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  9. A Party of One says:

    Didn’t watch. Could care less.

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