No more smiling minorities?
Researchers at Blaska Policy Werkes are burning their white lab coats for the obvious racist implications and replacing them with carefully nuanced shades of gray. Non-committal. Never know what will be taken as racist, these days.
Indentured servants are rummaging through the fridge and cupboards at the Stately Manor, tossing out anything that might be offend the buttercups who run the City of Madison before the Squire is subjected to a midnight visit from Freedom Inc. and related Marxists.
Land O Lakes has already retired our beloved butter maiden. A pretty young lady holding the product, in the background a pristine northwoods lake. We are so OFFENDED!
No more smiling black people?
Now Aunt Jemima joins her in oblivion. CNN reports that …
The brand’s origin and logo is based off the song “Old Aunt Jemima” from a minstrel show performer and reportedly sung by slaves. The company’s website said the logo started in 1890 and was based on Nancy Green, a “storyteller, cook and missionary worker.” However, the website fails to mention Green was born into slavery.
“Old Aunt Jemima?” Wasn’t that a Harry Chapin tune? No? Even the unlettered field hands here at the Experimental Work Farm are unfamiliar with that one. Then again, they’re more into stadium rock.
“Fails to mention slavery?” The product’s logo depicts a strong, proud woman of color to our eyes. Guess we’re just not hearing that dog whistle we conservatives are supposed to keep hearing. (Is it like tinnitus?)
Inquiring minds want to know: are any depictions of happy (and plucky) minority persons allowed any more? Or are only angry social justice warriors permitted? Pour a little high-fructose hate on your morning pancakes with the cop-bashing tenured Communist, Angela Davis.
The Great Purge continues
Something Stalin-esque going on here. Even matronly Mrs. Butterworth is under attack. (We thought she was Mrs. Doubtfire.) That’s an easy fix. She is now Mizz Butterworth. Better yet, mold her a mustache and call her transgender!
The African-American chef on Cream of Wheat? Draw him pouring the lava-like substance on his master’s lap as payback for 400 years of oppression (and bland breakfasts) — the look of horror on the scalded white man’s face should sell a million boxes.
Uncle Ben’s Rice is more challenging. “Uncle” anything is redolent of Uncle Tom. Would Uncle Ben’s rice work better as George Floyd’s rice? Perhaps the late petty criminal could be the face of a line of C-pap machines? (Too soon?)
We’re guessing Madison’s Rocky Rococo pizza guy insults Italians. Goodbye to the Irish leprechaun on the Lucky Charms breakfast cereal (they wouldn’t make it if it wasn’t good for you.) That Columbian coffee guy — is Juan Valdez wearing a sombrero and leading a donkey? (Oh, Pancho! Oh, Cee-sco! Ha ha ha!)
What nightmares may come
If there was one advertising mascot the heads groundskeeper here at the Werkes would like to whack, personally, it would be that “Flo” on the the Progressive insurance commercials. The woman scares the bejeepers out of me. (So does the company name.) And she’s white! (Like most Progressives.) Al- … most … Too … WHITE! It’s as if she’s preparing to put on the rubber examination glove. Nurse Ratched’s twisted sister.
True story
(We do that every now and again.) Back around 1998 or so, Linda Stewart was secretary of the WI Dept. of Workforce Development. African-American herself, she spoke to a black community group in Milwaukee about Gov. Tommy Thompson’s welfare-to-independence programs. Her speech completed, the grateful audience presented the secretary with a fresh box of Aunt Jemima pancake mix. Nice. Only proved the audience’s addiction to government servitude.
Blaska’s Bottom Line: Sometimes products do acquire an undeserved reputation. But the Indian maiden?
What product offends YOU?
Education
Blaska Policy Werkes 
Eh…I don’t know. I’m kind of with the woke crowd on this one. And these aren’t really huge issues to go to battle for. This just isn’t a hill I’d consider dying on. Maybe if they’re distracted with these non-issues they’ll stop trying to abolish the police.
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Fair enough. But when the mob gets a taste of blood it wants more blood.
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What happens when you run out of statues and streets to paint?
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They turn on each other.
Pick up a copy of Lord Of The Flies, which some claim is loosely based on the shockingly troubled upbringing of a kid that went on to become a Dells Donut .maker…
The Gotch
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Juvy, a thoughtful comment. But since this is hardly a hill to die on, what about the years, nay decades, of Aunt Jemima being an icon for healthy and wholesome food? For folks of any race? Cancel Culture is fraught w/ upcoming mistakes….
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Barbi hates Flo passionately. Mike, the “My Pillow” man, is a close second.
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Agree on the pillow guy. He puts some beans in a bag and calls it a patented pillow.
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Respectfully disagree on the My Pillow guy, Mike Lindell, David. Look into his bio. He’s the real deal. He not only walks the walk, but talks the talk, … he puts his money where his mouth is.
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Respectfully agree with Happy Dog Man. While Tucker Carlson’s ratings are through the roof, weenie lefty advertisers are deserting him in droves like the spineless cowardly lemmings they are. Meanwhile Mr. Lindell is nearly single handedly keeping several of the FOX shows on air with his ads including Mr. truth teller himself. Apparently corporate fear of the lefty SJW mob backlash is even greater than the love of money. Interesting times…
P.S. Carlson’s monologues are pure gold.
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Waiting for them to get around to the names and images of slave owners on monuments, currency, states, the national capital, etc. Would be a fun issue in a Trump-Biden debate.
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It’s already started. See my post 2 days ago about Madison’s name. (Take the quiz: you might be a progressive pariah)
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How do you do it? Rip-roaringly funny and terribly sad by turns. I think a “Karen” with blond hair should go on the syrup as a FB meme has shown. Maybe on the box of mix too. The virtue-signaling is beginning to get on my last nerve, but I was eating organic, locally owned maple syrup and Eggo’s anyway. Their blueberry buckwheat (OH NO….BUCKWHEAT!!!!! there go my waffles) waffles are ahhh-yummy
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I can’t wait to pour some Kill Whitey! on my flapjacks.
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Remember Garrett Morris in front of the parole board on SNL ?
‘I’d like perform a song I wrote myself. Ahem, Gonna Get Me a Shotgun and kill all the Whiteys I See.’
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We use high calorie 100% real maple syrup if we have pancakes or French toast (apologies for not mentioning toasts from other countries). Yeah, definitely more expensive, but nothing tastes quite like it. I call it “Ain’t Cho Mama’s” syrup.
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I’m woke now. No more buckwheat pancakes for me. I’m saved and have seen the light Jesus.
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What about Velveeta Cheese, the name alone just sounds racist!!!!!
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Come up to the Dells and visit the bakery. We have BROWNIES-BLONDIES- BOOGALOO BARS. Something for each and every one of ‘ya all. You can even stop off and buy a bag of stale popcorn from the Vos Popcorn store. Bakers Lives Matter.
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“Richard, This is 911 calling back. What is your emergency?”
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What’s your point? There is no emergency. I’m just inviting you to the Dells. Spend a few bucks, support your state and local businesses. Get off your ass you gotch clone.
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What! And break Quarantine?! Go back to gay marriage cakes lest you be sued.
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G’ss; The Gotch cautions you against engaging staggeringly bespawling addlepate.
They drag you down to their darkly imbecilic level and beat you with experience.
The Got
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Quarantine? Vos just spent a ton of your tax dollars in court to open the state.
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Worth every penny.
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That Lefty can pivot from from garden variety ignorance to positively crippling STOOPIDITY is the stuff of legend.
To wit:
There happen to be some real real “reprehensible” statues SanFranNan wants removed from the halls of Congress in our Nation’s Capital, statues she’s passed every work day (a reference I use advisedly) for the last 30 plus years.
It gets worse.
05/02/1948, former Baltimore Mayor, the late Thomas D’Alesandro Jr:
“Today, with our nation beset by subversive groups and propaganda which seeks to destroy our national unity, we can look for inspiration to the lives of (Robert E.) Lee and (Thomas “Stonewall”) Jackson to REMIND US TO BE RESOLUTE AND DETERMINED IN PRESERVING OUR SACRED INSTITUTIONS” (bolds/italics/caps mine)
Funniest thing: Not only is SanFranNan from Baltimore but, and this is where it gets good, her maiden name is D’Alesandro.
Hey; you don’t think…nah…couldn’t be…could it?
Ah Lefty; so MUCH crushing hypocrisy, so little time!
The Gotch
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On the subject of Aunt Jemima, some may recall one of our local boys Jon “Sly” Sylvester (AKA Sly [Slime] in The Morning) received national attention in 2004 when he referred to Rice as an “
Aunt Jemima.”
No charge of sexism because he was an equal opportunity racist bigot; in the spirit of fairness, he called Colin Powell an “Uncle Tom.” What a mensch, am I right?
America’s Dairyland offered up some token admonition, but Sly remained gainfully employed. Why? Sly was/is a card-carryin’ Union Proud/Union Strong, Bush bashing, virulently anti-Righty Lefty, ergo, perfectly ideologically certified for the 77 Square Miles Surrounded By A Sea Of Reality. And FTR, he did apologize…to Aunt Jemima!
Other than that, I just can’t seem to put my finger on it, though thoroughly owning the coveted morning drive-time slot may have factored in a skosh.
” ‘Mr. Sylvester, who is white, apparently believes that his left-wing political views exempt him from charges of racism. Sylvester’s boss, Tom Walker, general manager for Mid-West Family Broadcast Group, agrees, saying, AS LONG AS HE ISN’T HATEFUL AND AS LONG AS HE SIN’T RACIST, I’M FINE WITH IT.” (bolds/italics/caps mine)
Roseanne Barr tweets something eminently stupid, Lefty goes ape$#!t, and she loses an 8 figure gig.
Sly continues to draw a paycheck and the NYT hires Sarah Jeong.
Hypocrisy; Thy Name Is Lefty!
The Gotch
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