Don’t stand so close to me

Or we’ll call the Police!

No more than 250 visitors allowed in Blaska’s chat room

UPDATE: We’re down to no more than 50 in a gathering.

Blaska Policy Werkes assures its dwindling number of healthy subscribers that the white lab coats producing this blogge have washed their hands raw with Fels Naptha and Ajax and rinsed in hot water and hydrogen peroxide to combat COVID-19, aka Coronavirus, aka the Wuhan Woo Woo. The keyboard has been submitted to ultraviolet light, all flat surfaces and doorknobs pressure-washed. The indentured servants at Stately Manor are wearing surgical masks. The unlettered field hands are being housed in calf huts for maximum social distancing.  

Our sports pages were sparse this Sunday morning, the state boys and girls basketball championships are canceled; the collegiate March Madness canceled, and baseball on hiatus. The woman on the couch next to me introduced herself as my wife. (Rim shot!)

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Who’s laughing now?

More hardships. No ceramic mug for my coffee at Collectivo coffee shop on Madison’s Monroe Street this morning. The parking lot at St. Maria Goretti Catholic church was maybe one-third full. Hospitals are ending elective surgeries. Prisoners in the county jail are denied visitors. Madison Overture Center for the arts has canceled all events through April 13. That includes — irony of irony — The Amateurs, described as “An itinerant troupe of actors attempting to outrun the Black Plague in this 14th century-set comedy.Too soon?

Starting Wednesday, March 18, no Madison schools until at least April 6. Ripple effect: more workplace absentees. Double ripple effect: More vehicles at home, more car thefts? Raises the question: Spring non-partisan elections and the Democrat(ic) presidential primary are April 7. Vote by mail or postpone?

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Signs of the times

Church and state

Retired UW-Madison law prof Ann of Althouse wonders if the City of Madison can order churches to shut down services, according to the fiat:

That brings together or is likely to bring together two hundred fifty (250) or more people in a single room or single confined or enclosed space at the same time, such as, by way of example and without limitation, an auditorium, stadium, arena, conference room, meeting hall, theater, exhibition center, museum, places of worship and religious gathering centers.” 

Blaska studied law under Jack McCoy on the Law and Order television series but he would say that, Yes, government CAN regulate if for a broader, reasonable purpose; that is, to protect the health of the larger community. By the same token, the State could ban human sacrifice, one would think. It could also enact reasonable protections for the unborn. The City of Madison declaration, furthermore, does not single out religion but bans ALL events “likely to bring” over 250 people in a single confined space. This covers believers and  people destined for the fires of Hell, alike! Blaska has ruled!

⇒ “Green Bay plant looks to keep up with toilet paper demand.” Story here!

How has the Wuhan Woo Woo affected YOUR life?

About David Blaska

Madison WI
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3 Responses to Don’t stand so close to me

  1. westsidesue says:

    Heya sorry about not being able to use your ceramic mug, but the upside is, you won’t have to wash it out with lye after using it. This thing has scared the bejeeeeezuz outta my kids, because they’ve lived in a very secure world unlike us, some of whom hid under their desk to hide from atomic bombs, knew that the Cold War Russians or global cooling was gonna git us, or that if you were a REAL boy and old enough, you could get sent to Vietnam and your number would mostly surely be up. They are adults, but too young to remember much about Y2K, and even the 9/11 thing has the same affect as the newsreels of Saturday afternoon matinees. It has not affected me much. I just got a second bottle of Johnny Walker Black just in case, and always keep apocalyptic supplies on hand of necessary unguents, foods, and drugs anyway. Being a reclusive old hermit
    , it will not affect my social life either. You are one of my only contacts in the “real” world, and I mean, c’mon, how real can that be? Blaska’s Beacon of Bubbly Brightness.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. George's son says:

    Hey, Dave, I wanna work fer you! You could take the calf hut cost outta my beans and corn allocation. Walmart greeter jobs have been abolished some time ago, and now Overture cancelled job duties as a ushers. Or mebbe I’ll just get one fer my ownself, tho they sure ain’t cheap. I might hafta rent half of it to A-Bob, but that’s all in the community spirit….

    https://www.fleetfarm.com/detail/polydome-calf-hutch/0000000216357

    Like

  3. Kevin S Wymore says:

    As of this afternoon, the Dane County Public Health Department is setting the limit for meetings of no more than 50, down from 250 per meeting. Apparently, they are citing public health statutes, ch. 252.

    Like

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