Gifts for the 12 days of Blaska Christmas

If you’re like me (God help you), it’s not Christmas until Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi tower. 

Hans Gruber

In that spirit, the Policy Werkes is field-testing holiday gifts to place under the highly flammable sapling at Stately Blaska Manor. There’s something for everyone under our recycled tree. (We never thought it was such a bad tree. Should be good for a few more years.)

Freddie Mercury.pngIs anyone hotter right now than Freddie Mercury? We are the champions, my friends!

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You Beatles fans will want a T-shirt commemorating the 50th anniversary of the release of their landmark White Album. Sizes S to XXXL. Colors: White.

Speaking of Icons, how about an (In)Action figure of The Notorious RBG. (“Help, I’ve fallen and can’t get up” monitor sold separately.)

Grievance-mongers of the world unite! Keep track of May Day, Red Army Day, and October Revolution Day and other subversive holidays with this calendar from The Nation. For the professional victim only. 

For a more constructive gift, help Donald Build the Wall only $30 (not $5 billion!) 

It’s visiting day every day when you Send Hillary to Prison for only $15. Lock her up!

Pop open that cold bottle of brew. When you’re done, signal your significant other it’s time to “Beer Me!” (Brew not included.)

For Christmas, more than your toes will twinkle when you light up your life with these beard ornaments. (Beard not included.)

Don’t forget our friends at Freedom Inc.! They’ll love these F-bombing lights. All 10 of them!

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But wait, there’s more!

Ladies! Are you lonely tonight? Warm up with Ryan Gosling’s husband pillow. (Specify snoring or non-snoring.)

For the relative who has everything: a yodeling pickle. (Ages 3 and up.)

Over-indulge the wassail bowl? Glow Bowl is the coolest NEW way to safely navigate the bathroom at night and stop those messy toilet misses forever!

What could be more soothing than a Bob Ross coffee mug? Well, perhaps a healthy dose of rum in the toddy. Pour in anything hot — a beautiful Bob Ross painting will appear behind Bob and his paint brush. Another triumph of capitalism!

Now, for real and serious

Help those who need our help the most. No, not with More Free Stuff but with help that will give a lifetime: the gift of literacy! Help tutor a neighborhood kid. 

Think of the value a one-on-one tutor could mean for a child. Think of an adult mentoring and instructing a child. Promoting the success and self-esteem of students has proven critically important in achieving better outcomes for kids living on the margins.

The Madison Community Policing Foundation is accepting donations online and by mail for a newly created “community reading fund.” You can donate at madisoncommunitypolicingfoundation.org. Or label your check “Community Read” and send it to the Madison Community Policing Foundation at P.O. Box 44246, Madison, WI 53744. 

Speaking of reading: 

• Stu Levitan is a hopeless old-school liberal but the man can write. Madison in the Sixties. 

• Struggling young writer Christian Schneider has an alternative book of history: 1916: The Blog.

• You want non-P.C.? Then you want Mike Baron’s Not Fade Away: Bad Road Rising Book 3 

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About David Blaska

Madison WI
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8 Responses to Gifts for the 12 days of Blaska Christmas

  1. Cornelius Gotchberg says:

    If none of those other DAMN FINE selections grabs you’s, there’s always the Notorious RBG Bra, guarandamnteed to make “peas-on-a-platter” look like Scarlett Johansson in Ed Ames’ My Cup Runneth Over With LUUUUUUUV!

    The Gotch

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Tom Paine says:

    Attended the W from 66 to 70. Was a player in campus protests. Was a player in student organizations and events. Student of Mosse, Goldberg, William Willams, Hans Gerth, Maurice Zeitlin, Ivan Soll, and ILS. Witnessed DOW, as it transpired; Testified at 1st Earth Day; etc.

    If the Historical Society sends me a copy to review, I shall. Till then, no comment. Murray Bookchin and RYM II and Mother Jones RL —- Dare to Struggle. Dare to Win. Now, with wisdom, I understand that is the mantra of Right Honorable David Blaska — as he leads the existential fight for traditional American values.

    For others, RYM II might leave you wondering………..so read an old copy or two of Paul Buehl’s, Radical America, Telos, Monthly Review, or Marcuse’s One-Dimensional Man., Yes, interesting time…….even Cleaver’s Soul on Ice competed with LeRoi Jones’, Home, and Malcolm’s Autobiography. Jim Rowen was trying to understand and Paul entered law school.

    Like

    • Tom Paine says:

      Since then, unlike most others from “my” generation, the dialectic of Socratic reasoning has taken me to a higher level of consciousness: Jordan Peterson, Peter Foster, Jonathan Haidt, Paul Heyne, Thomas Sowell, and Niall Ferguson.

      On the other hand, it matters not.

      Like

  3. Batman says:

    “On the other hand, it matters not.”

    Your stark cynicism is refreshing Mr. Paine.
    Unless there is a profound evolutionary shift in human consciousness, all the drama is nothing more than rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

    Like

    • Gary l. Kriewald says:

      And who, pray tell, will lead this “profound evolutionary shift in human consciousness” of which you speak? Would this world-historical imperative be necessary if Hillary had won the last election?

      Like

  4. Batman says:

    GLK,
    Buddha, Jesus, Ramana Maharshi, Paramahansa Yogananda, and many other awakened ones.
    The shift has already occurred but the illusion of time interferes with total complete awareness.

    Btw, there really isn’t any leading but instead recognition of that which always is.

    P.S. the individual occupying the Oval office is ultimately irrelevant.

    Like

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