Sometimes they take the law into their own hands!
At the age of 7, Blaska became the editor and publisher of The Blaskie Paper, the leading journal of BugTown. A map of the imaginary country resembled the platbook’s rectangular delineation of our farm east of Sun Prairie WI.
The publication took its name from the intentional mispronunciation of the family surname by our irreverent neighbors — most of whom were of the same German Bohemian ethnicity. It was published on 5½ by 8-inch lined tablets, probably Big Chiefs. The very first issue in April 1957 reported the apprehension of my brother Billy, accused by his two older brothers of killing one of the multiplying barn cats. Brother Mike and I encircled the frightened tike in snow fence. (Kids those days!)
Frontier law having been satisfied, the junior journalist ran into the house and put Number 2 pencil to tablet paper to record the little fellow’s apprehension. (Children do have an innate sense of justice.) “Look out for Billy Blaska,” the headline screamed, followed (in smaller letters because the young compositor ran out of room) “Kitten Killer.”
Product of the times
Brother Billy did “askape” his imprisonment, which was duly reported. We also warned readers* “Don’t ride with any strangers,” advice mother imparted when pointing to the small white building on the horizon one early September day in 1955. The structure was the one-room Oak Lawn school, where grandpa had accomplished the entirety of his formal education in the 1890s. One blizzard of a morning, the little sojourner resisted the blandishments of an old man to get in his automobile. Mr. Long objected he and his family had lived on my route for generations “right over there.” Against clear instructions, the first grader got into the vehicle and was not abducted by gypsies, a fate that obsessed mother.
The first edition of the Blaskie Paper also carried the obituary of the unfortunately named Mrs. Joe Homly [sic] Duck; cause of death: polio. We took our Salk polio vaccine injection that spring, a line of little kids terrified by the wailing coming from the front of the line. The previous school year, on our very first day of schooling, Mrs. Alma Taylor informed the grades 1-8 classroom, numbering about 20, that a student would not be joining us for the 1955-56 school year because she had come down with polio.
- * We say “readers” but no one ever read our little newspapers. Maybe mother happened upon one but they were never shown, just tucked into an increasingly distressed manila envelope.
Brother Bill turned out alright
A little PTSD, sure. Mike is doing alright, too. As for your irascible bloggeur, the boy can’t help it. We edited our college newspaper for two semesters then got paid for scribbling at three newspapers — at DeKalb IL, Waukesha WI, and Madison’s Capital Times before getting a call from Tommy Thompson’s chief of staff, Scooter Jensen in late 1990. That is when we went over to the dark side.
That’s how we remember father — behind a newspaper. Dad is pictured shortly after his service in WW2 among six of his nine siblings and Grandma Rose. Many of them are at the dinner table but Jerome is seated under a lamp, reading a newspaper.
The ‘journalism’ excuse
We were going to speculate over the federal arrest of former CNN reporter Don Lemon, who contends he invaded that Minneapolis church service miraculously and simultaneously with the anti-I.C.E. protesters in the holy practice of journalism. Another First Amendment case. Many an offense has been committed in the name of free speech. Maybe Mr. Lemon got a hot tip; maybe he forgot to say “peaceful and patriotic,” maybe it’s still trespassing.
We still say journalists have no more constitutional rights than the guy face down in a mug of Old Milwaukee at closing time (and often make about as much sense). The courts seem to agree.
Blaska’s Bottom Line: The very last page of that first edition carried the news bulletin: “Billy Blaska tour [sic] down the Mikie Jail.” In the space following that announcement and many others through the four-page newspaper “Empty Spot” is written.
The young editor’s imagination was limited and there was a deadline to meet, likely supper or maybe the theme song to The Legend of Wyatt Earp was chirping through the console TV. “Brave, courageous and bold.” Still require newsprint with our morning coffee. We’re more and more a curiosity to the screen tappers at the coffee shop on Monroe Street.
12 responses to “Look out for journalists”
I hope they convict his smug ass!
Yes, “smug” is the perfect description for this self-righteous prick.
What names do you have for Georgia Font the independent journalist who happened to be there and filmed the whole thing. Federal agents were at her door with a supposed arrest warrant they say was issued by a grand jury. No wonder the local papers gave you the boot. Aren’t you guys all carpooling to go see that movie about trump’s old lady? Be sure to cough up the extra 15 bucks for the souvenir popcorn bucket. Why are you calling him a self-righteous prick?
convict him of what?
Dog-killer Kristi Noem, who blew out the brains of her little wire terrier named Cricket years ago because, (her words) “I hated that dog”, will never be “alright”. One wonders if she enjoys pulling the wings off of flies.
Todd Blanche just admitted no one knows where Alex K.’s gun and cell phone are. Funny thing that. Next they will say his body is missing just like all the body cam footage and the Medical Examiners report. Maybe in Homan’s bag along with his 50k bribe.
Who knew irascible could also be so charmingly adorable?
Here follow a couple recollections of newspapers from my childhood: 1) My grandfather would patiently read me the comics pages (there were two full pages of them) in the Merrill Daily Herald. My favorites, I’m told, were Dagwood & Blondie and Tales of Prince Valiant. 2) I would pretend to “read” the newspaper well before I actually learned to read, a practice that was thought sufficiently hilarious (or maybe precocious) to be immortalized in a photograph.
“Gurad your kittens”
Could have been like “Hodling bitcoin”. You were ahead of your time.
Did Billy really do it? Time to come clean.
We have since outsourced our proof reading to a prison complex in North Korea.
Poor little Donnie Limon. After getting kicked to the curb (deservedly) by CNN, he’ll apparently do anything to get back in the spotlight … as long as there are no consequences.
1. According to my parents I was reading the Wisconsin State Journal when I was 2. But would they hire me? Nooooooooooo.
2. The First Amendment applies to everyone, not just journalists, not just believers and not just those unhappy with the feds.
3. The protesters had the right to be outside the church. Not inside. Trespassing at minimum and likely a FACE violation.