For that matter, where were the Chiefs?
One more conspiracy theory shot all to hell. That first call wiping out a deep pass from Jalen Hurts to A.J. Brown seemed to confirm that NFL refs were in the bag for Kansas City. But the Deep State itself could not have saved the Chiefs Sunday. The AFL champions were actually penalized for more yards — 75 — than the 59 levied against Philadelphia.
The Eagles ruined K.C.’s bid for a three-peat by a score of 40 to 22, thereby preserving the Packers as the only three-peaters (twice, in 1929-31 and 1965-67.) Game wasn’t that close. The Eagles led 34-0 before the Chiefs even crossed midfield in the second half. When’s the last time a Super Bowl team emptied its bench?
The coach on the couch in front of the b&w Philco attributes Philly’s win to Saquon Barkley. Yeah, the running back only gained 57 yards in this particular game. That’s because he attracted all the attention of K.C. defenders like moths to a flame. That freed up the Eagles Q.B. to pick the Chieftains’ apart.
What does it tell you that Patrick Mahomes was K.C.’s leading rusher — for all of 25 yards? The team attempted only 11 runs from scrimmage for 49 total yards compared to 45 rushes for the Eagles, which netted 135 yards. That allowed the Eagles to stick a pin in Patrick Mahomes as if he were a bug specimen. (Not that he loses any endorsement deals.)
On the sidelines
Fox TV showed Travis Kelce’s girl friend just once that we noticed. Appeared more appalled than A.O.C. at an I.C.E. detention camp. And if they bothered to show the first President to attend a Super Bowl in its 59th iteration, we were taking that 30-second bathroom break that Angel Soft promoted.
As for the TV commercials, were all those promised Elon Musk ads subliminal? Did he use A-I to target his audience? Are we not supposed to believe social media any more?
We almost feel sorry for Bud Light, which has lost $1.4 billion in sales after going Woke two years ago. Dammit! It’s selling beer, not pinot grigio. Attempting to revive the brand, Anheuser-Busch portrayed a massive neighborhood block party of “Big Men on a Cul-de-Sac.” No purple hair or taffeta; many manly beards. Even enlisted everybody’s favorite ex-jock, Peyton Manning. (Is there a product he won’t pitch?) Face it, the Bud Light brand is toast. Just rename the swill. Call it “Bud Tuff.” Next Super Bowl, hire Hulk Hogan.
The NY Times (among others) ranks the 64 Super Bowl ads. Sixty-four! It rates ChatGPT’s “pixelated, pulsating animation” Numero uno. It was enjoyable. Oddly, its You Tube site asks us to prove that we’re not a BOT. How about first you prove that YOU are not a bot?! But the NY Times downgrades to #56 on its hit parade the Jeep ad featuring Harrison “Ford.”
“Life doesn’t come with an owner’s manual.” The guy has tons of gravitas, has aged very pleasurably, his voice hints of leather and hardwood smoke. The man is not over-exposed (like a certain retired quarterback). Somehow, the action star managed to sell patriotism and wheels. And yeah, Jeeps are manly.
We have no opinion on the half-time show because we quit watching half-time shows longer ago than our failing memories will admit. At least it wasn’t Taylor Swift.
Blaska’s Bottom Line: Hellz bellz, the Packers had a better showing at Philly in their 22 to 10 loss in January. GB took them to 29-34 in the first game of the season in Brazil.
6 responses to “Where was Elon during the Super Bowl?”
That was a gosh darn CURB STOMP. Vic Fangio’s suffocating defense neutered the high octane KC offense, allowing them just over 23 minutes TOP; keeping Mahomes on the bench paid big dividends.
Shout out to Brown Deer East/WESconsin Badger Zack Baun for his soul-crushing late 1st half pick.
The Gotch is with you on skipping Half Time, Blaska; it’s been reduced to a monocultural Chant Fest.
The Gotch
Should add that the Iggles (sic) defense relentlessly harassed Mahomes, sacking him a career high six (6) times, while rushing only four (4) linemen, with zero blitzes; that (IMO) outstanding game plan allowed seven (7) defenders to clog passing lanes and stymie receivers!
FUN FACT: A gargantuan 13 year-old Andy Reid positively dwarfed the competition in a 1971 Punt Pass, and Kick Contest on Monday Night Football.
The Gotch
Seen on X:
“Joe Biden calls Don Henley to congratulate him on the Eagles big win”
I liked the add with all the big bouncing boobs, what was the add about anyway?
Breast Cancer
The Gotch
That was a small-town Iowa boy who picked for six for the Eagles. As in, so small, Odebolt, Iowa is still recruiting to put them over 1,000 population. Or, if you prefer, a Big Ten guy. The Packers coulda had Cooper DeJean, except they botched the chance to draft him.