Do unto Blaska as you have done for Dr. Fauci!
On behalf of the indentured servants at the Stately Manor (many of them legal), we want to thank President Biden for his “full and complete” presidential pardon. Imagine waking up to a fresh cuppa joe on this frosty Madison WI morn and hearing that the pardon application snail-mailed four years ago has finally been stamped “ACCEPTED”! Now we need not fear Kash Patel shouting through a bullhorn on our front yard before sunrise!
We will brandish this presidential pardon at the next conclave of dues-paying RINOs (Liz Cheney chapter) as one might flaunt the King’s Order of the Garter. (We meet in Paul Ryan’s basement rec room. Bring a treat.) Say goodbye to parking tickets and bank overdraft charges! You’ll get my 1040 Form, Mr. Tax Man, when we’re good and ready and we are neither!
Make Blaska Grate Again!
We do have a quibble. It may be due to poor staff work. Perhaps the application form got mangled in the mail. Maybe you really are as non compos mentis as they say, Mr. President. (Have someone read this to you.) We clearly and distinctly asked for a full and complete pardon for anything we might have done in our lifetime and might do for the next six years. (Plans. Big plans!) Your pardon only covers the last six weeks! Mr. President, this is a mistake that Donald Trump would not have made. Or Elon Musk. This is not debatable! (Sorry, we know debates are a touchy subject but we had to make the point.)
In the hours available to you before the clock strikes noon (The bell tolls for thee!) would you please correct your mistake? (This SNAFU reminds us of your Afghan withdrawal!) Maybe you could slip a note to the New Guy during his inaugural speech and ask that he announce the fix. Or hold up a sign during the ceremony. We’ll be watching on our b&w Philco. (During the ceremony today, will you be using one of those seated Ellipse exercise machines? Your jointsss will feel betterrr, your … They’re safe and stress free!)
If you need another “contribution” just say so. We’re good for another benjamin.
Blaska’s Bottom Line: While you’re at it (may I call you “Joe”?), you might want to pardon yourself. We hear Trump holds a grudge.
25 responses to “Well, pardon us all to hell!”
Maybe Biden should pardon Trump for the insurrection attempt. Oh, that’s right, he was never convicted of anything– my bad!
Like the rest of those pardoned today.
So why was Liz Cheney pardoned? What was her offense?
It’s really a perfect end to Joe’s career.
“Corrupt, to the death!”
Hunter prolly wishes he robbed a few banks too….
He essentially stole money from anyone who bought any of his POS paintings…
I wonder how much the paintings were insured for that burnt up in the fires?
“It’s really a perfect end to Joe’s career.”
Perfection not (IMO) being a human attribute, would fitting be more appropriate…?
“ ‘Corrupt, to the death!’ ”
“For In The Fatness Of These Pursy Times Virtue Itself Of Vice Must Pardon Beg” W. Shakespeare
The Gotch
What’s interesting about pardons is, because a pardon prevents any prosecution for the things that the individual was pardoned for, it also renders the individual’s 5th Amendment right (protects citizens from self-incrimination) basically irrelevant as long as the questions are related to the things the individual was pardoned for, the individual can no longer self-incriminate, they MUST answer the questions. This could be a real positive for the American people because Congressional investigations into some of the things that took place over the last four years could be a huge windfall of valuable information. President Trump needs to stay completely out of it, but Congress needs to have some very public hearings about a few things to inform “We the People” about the corruption that took place over the last four years.
P.S. If an individual that is pardoned lies under oath in a Congressional hearing they CAN be prosecuted for that.
I have NEVER seen or heard ANYONE lie to Congress under oath or not. All politicians’ past and present are beyond reproach. (Gaetz and Santos come to mind.) What needs to be monitored is the content of the questions. CONGRESSMAN>>>ON THE DAY YOU TRANSFERED 25 MILLION TO THAT OFFSHORE ACCOUNT’ DO YOU REMEMBER IF IT RAINED THAT DAY? I HAVE A CHART RIGHT HERE SHOWING THE RAIN FOR THE ENTIRE YEAR; SO TELL US THE TRUTH.
20 minutes and ticking. Joe, you still need to pardon your brother Jim and yourself.
The brother – check.
Yes, he got the family in under the wire. Let’s Go Brandon!
And just what massive corruption do you speak of? Can’t wait to see what all the pardons Dementia Don signs. Buy a trump crypto coin and get a pardon. Stay off the streets of Chicago starting Tuesday’ they will be ICEY. But; knowing dump is a cowardly blowhard he will create a story about why that can’t be done. Biden and Harris will be blamed for every one of Despicable Don’s screw ups for the next four years. The spin starts today. Load up on Lucky Charms before the sugar and dye police arrive. Treats at your next RINO meeting? I’m sure no one will be bringing Deviled Eggs until Dementia Don lowers the price. Knowing him you’ll be buying them with your crypto stash.
Biden just pardoned Beniffer for “Gigli”.
Let him go he’s on a roll.
Biden just pardoned the Chamberlin Rock!!!!
This is getting good.
President Trump should start by being proactive and pardon himself and all his family members immediately. Biden has set the standard so why not? After all, we know the Left will continue to go after him even while he occupies the Oval Office.
Breaking news: President Trump has just pardoned Lauren Sanchez’s tits.
Potential crime scene.
“Potential crime scene.”
Looks likeMark Zuckerberg wants to FRIEND THEM
And t!ts? It (IMO) starts -n- ends with Sydney Sweeney and (continued below)
The Gotch
Scarlett Johansson!
DB just issued a full pardon to Cornelius Gotchberg for all the posts over 250 words!
Not to mention the bold facing and all CAPS!
“Not to mention the bold facing and all CAPS!”
The Gotch is still on the hook for Hyper-links? He should take what he can get, am I right?
Anywho, you’re too kind…nice to have a fresh slate when LaLaLoopyLoonyLeftyLand is busily descending dangerously, yet voluntarily, into a catatonic, apoplectic, pillow-biting, pants $#!tting, bed wetting, wind-sucking, chest palpitating, vital sign ramping, mouth-breathing, fist-pounding, foot stomping, safe-space seeking, triggering, weenie-whiny, simpering-whimpering, complete metaphysical, emotional, existential, psychological, philosophical, full-throated, freaking out, melting down, spittle-flecked, furiously-frothing, totally collapsing free-fall.
It’s almost too much to take…….almost…..
The Gotch
Well, all of the incarcerated J6 insurrectionists have just been pardoned by the new orangutan sitting in the Oval. A few getting out tonight may even be partying at a couple of inaugural balls: trendy pit stops on the road to hell?