Misconstruing the first Republican presidential debate
Nikki Haley gets the gold, Mike Pence the silver. A thoroughly enjoyable Republican presidential debate last night 08-23-23 in Milwaukee WI. What good is politics if it doesn’t entertain?
Pence was almost lathered up. Mr. Earnest and Sincere put some habanero sauce in his milquetoast. Did everything except a Roy Orbison growl. MERCY! Several times moderator Bret Baier had to fend off the usually meek veep with a chair and a whip. Tried to bust through like John Madden in the Miller Lite commercial.
Fox was lenient with its time’s up dinger. Notably, it let Mike Pence perorate on his decision on January 6 to “follow the Constitution, not One Man” (and we all know who THAT is!) “No one is above the law. The President asked me to put him over the Constitution. I swore to uphold the Constitution and I always will.”
How has America come to the point where that is a courageous statement?
Said he would pardon Trump only if the man admitted his guilt and said he was sorry. Not going to happen!
Trump, of course, was the elephant not in the room. Fox devoted an entire segment to the Stolen Election hoax and all eight on the stage agreed that Veep Pence Did The Right Thing. But try to drag an answer out of Ron DeSantis! After several promptings, the governor croaked: “Mike did his duty.”
We get it, a full-on attack on #45 is a kamikaze mission. You may destroy the Golem but you will get shot down yourself like a certain Wagner mercenary leader. Chris Christie never really found his opening. A live audience of red meat Republicans seemed to temper his attacks. Moderator Baier had to turn around to quell the crowd after one hearty booing. It’s one thing to be right but taking all that incoming is painful.
Asa Hutchinson took a few jabs at the Man Who Wasn’t All There. Actually used the word “insurrection.” Booed.
But it was Nikki Haley who connected
“We have to look at the fact that three-quarters of Americans don’t want a rematch between Trump and Biden. And we have to face the fact that Trump is the most disliked politician in America. We can’t win a general election that way.”
— Nikki Haley
She even scored Trump (and Pence and Scott, by implication) for putting the country $8 Trillion in debt. In Trump’s absence, one might have thought DeSanctimonious (now he’s got ME doing it) would be the target, given that he is the only other candidate polling double figures. The Werkes scores him the big loser of the night. His best line was reminding the audience he fired two district attorneys who wouldn’t prosecute crime. So, the Florida governor is a fighter — but he won’t fight back against his greatest tormentor?
DeSantis can fight Snow White but not the man standing between him and election?
It’s true: the man is more sour than a plate of spoiled kimchi. Makes Hillary look like America’s sweetheart.
Given the fear most of the also-rans harbor of the Indicted One, Vivek Ramaswamy, age 38, served as the evening’s Heavy. I’m Not a Politician started things off by accusing the other seven of being bought and paid for. He is possibly more pro-Trump than Melania. Promises to pardon Trump, burn coal, bug out of Ukraine, disband the FBI, and probably return Puerto Rico to Spain.
Nikki don’t lose his number!
Every good debate needs a foil and Nikki Haley found hers in Ramaswamy, whom Haley went after like a Doberman with a rag doll. She claimed Ukraine consumes a paltry 3½% of the Defense budget, briefed the boy on some NATO geopolitics, then unloaded this can of Southern-fried whoop ass:
“You have no foreign policy experience and it shows.”
THERE is your dagger! “You’re no JFK!” Bentsen v. Quayle on the undercard. Had it been a boxing match, Vivek would have been given the mandatory eight-count.
Vivek reminds me of that One Call, That’s All, Gruber Law Offices guy. Really chews his words (and chooses them well). Speaks in dot points, which isn’t all bad. Like a Zucker, Abrahams & Zucker movie (think Airplane!). If you don’t get the first joke, pay attention because here comes another policy sound bite.
It’s not just the economy, stupid
Still, the man makes a lot of sense about what it is to be American. We’re losing that; it’s a bigger issue than the cost of living, the border, or the actors strike. Name the American institution, it’s more suspect than an offer from a Nigerian prince. Elections? The Justice Department? American mass media? The Church? Got to believe in something so why not UFOs? That’s where we are as a country!
“Great, I get the UFO question.”
— Chris Christie
Vivek promoted the family. I’ll take that over a hundred biblical citations, which Pence and Tim Scott sprayed like tent-rival preachers. (Oh yeah? Well Psalms 3:7 back atcha! Smite THIS, you jawbone of an ass!) Scott (who is believed to be black) referenced his hard-scrabble beginnings and a mother who worked 16 hours a day. Not to be outdone, the millionaire governor of North Dakota grew up in a small town where, it sounds like, various things should not be tried. (Then again, North Dakota is a small town.) Likely, even Bobby Kennedy Jr. will trot out his Horatio Alger story.
On abortion, all pretty much agreed that a total ban is not where the country is at. Kudos to Burgum for pulling out a copy of the Constitution and referencing the Tenth Amendment (“All powers not delegated to the United States …”) Scott and Chris Christie named the teachers union as a bigger threat than (presumably) Putin. They’re not far off the mark. Also:
• All the men wore red ties … like a certain someone.
• Asa Hutchinson is the smiliest man in America.
• Doug from Dakota: Great Eyebrows!
Blaska’s Bottom Line: Politics should be entertaining! Two hours well spent!
17 responses to “About last night”
Roy not “Ray” Orbison, Squire. Other than that, you did a great job of ‘splaining the donnybrook.
North Korean spell chuckers!
I thought DeSantis and Ramaswamy did the best. Nikki interrupted Vivek by shouting at him and didn’t follow the rules of the debate. She is ungrateful to Trump. Pence continues lying about following the constitution yet brags about all that he achieved while being VP to Trump. Confusing message.
You should try stand up comedy……
Regarding my view of the debate? Opinions aren’t funny.
You couldn’t find the Constitution with a guide dog and a magnetometer.
Your insult sounds very much like a Democrat. I’m right, you’re wrong. Pence should have sent the electoral votes in question back to the states. It was a no brainer.
[…] This post originally appeared at https://davidblaska.com/2023/08/24/about-last-night-3/ […]
This won’t be brief. First off was an adventure finding where to watch it. I didn’t want to give Fox my email so watching on their website was a no go. Then I found Fox was limiting coverage except on Rumble site. Download that app, find the live video which isn’t live yet but some Kevin McCarthy voter appeal on loop. Go back at 8pm still KM loop.
Next go to youtube with low expectations. Find someone named David Pakman is streaming and providing snarky comments. He states Fox might shut it down but we’re going for it. Had good video quality so stayed with it. Later find out he is uber progressive. Kept watching there until he giiddyly cheered on the warmongers at debate. On this anniversary of Sterling Hall bombing it’s crazy to think Democrats and progressives support the war machine. Switched back to Rumble who finally had live video without commentary.
Moderators were terrible. They let Pence blab on and on. Lots of talking over each other. DeSantis was right to call them on “raise your hands”. Yup let’s reduce complicated issues to yes/no answers. The loaded climate change question from the kid was idiotic as well.
Pence – biggest loser. Outed himself as Jesus freak which the people he hangs with love firm stance on abortion = he can’t win, not even a local race. Without that he could have been the right’s version of Joe Biden, a “steady hand”; DOA
Scott – Black Pence, DOA
Hutchinson -creepy looking, DOA.
Burgum – nice guy, DOA
Still alive:
Christie – good speaker, too darned fat. Ramaswamy should have offered him a wafer-thin mint.
Haley -good take on abortion. Bad take on Ukraine. Too much yay girl power
Ramaswamy – swung for the fences. In his tussling with Pence I kept thinking of the James Baldwin quote “Those who say it can’t be done are usually interrupted by others doing it.” Smiles too much. Best at laying out basic principles like calling out fatherless homes.
DeSantis – not a natural speaker but had better substance and history of results than anyone on stage.
And not one mention of litter boxes in schools. That topic had to be saved for prime time on The5. The 5 nitwits that is.
OT, but while it’s 95°F/35°C in Madison (and climbing), it’s a cool damp 61°F/16.1°C with 99% relative humidity on Weber Lake in Iron County.
Funniest thing; no one’s clucking about Global Warming up this way…
The Gotch
As usual, you did not fail to amuse with your Blaska-ite insights. Enjoyed your column. Stay strong and ALWAYS KEEP WRITING!
You have now achieved Super-Platinum Subscriber status!
Wow ; the law and order party my a$$. Hours before tRump gets booked Jordon opens an investigation in all the Georgia state prosecutors. This is BS! They constantly yapp about weaponizing gov’t agencies and here we are again. Like this local gop rep who wants to keep suing the same little paper because his feelings are hurt and he knows they will run out of money. After he already lost the first case. All these cadidates are full of crap. We need qa third party.
Article caught The Gotch’s eye by trying to tie Vivek Ramaswamy to George Soros.
Whaddya know; the tie is to Uncle Georgie’s brother Paul, and is (IMO) what Lefty would call a NOTHING BURGER…had it been one of their own.
The Gotch
What a sight watching tRump driving to jail and back. The streets were lined with tens of thousands of his supporters. Signs, banners, crying women, AMAZING
You Magnificent Bastard!
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1694886846050771321