Everything is getting more intelligent
but me and my monkey!
A wonderful classmate from Sun Prairie (when there was but one) high school invited a few of her old classmates over to her well appointed residence in what in our rural youth was hay and cornfields north of town. Blaska came anyway, guided by Steve Jobs’ GPS system. (“Recalculating!”)
Deep into gossip of the juicy sort, Sharon ordered, “Computer, play rock and roll.” By gosh and by golly, the unseen music system began pumping out the Byrds and Jimi Hendrix! Whereupon, the Head Groundskeeper shouted, “Computer, MAKE MY EARS BLEED!” That command was quickly countermanded. Nonetheless, it was your congenial bloggeur’s first encounter with Siri or Alexa or any of her modern-day, voice-activated sisters.
This aging relic grew up in an era of pinball machines and juke boxes that played 45 rpm vinyl. FM car radio was an option, as were (apparently) seatbelts, which were unknown at the time. Television was over the air, three major networks, no remote control. (We knew people who had color!) Was one of two of the male persuasion to take a HS class in typing — on typewriters. The girls were training to be secretaries. Atari’s Pong was back in the future.
So, we appreciate technology. Most of the time. Amazed that our newly purchased Ford Ranger pickup truck has a backup camera. Didn’t stop it from backing into the little Fiat 500C. In the driveway! (Mistakes were made.) Truck also plays our iTunes catalog (heavy on Neil Young and Abbey Road) and takes phone calls — hands free! Always wished we had asked Grandma Rose, born in 1885 in the Age of Steam, about the first time she saw an airplane aloft or a horseless carriage puffing down a country dirt road. But sort of feel that way, ourselves.
Went crazy when parents sprung for a set of World Book encyclopedias; Wikipedia has the same effect on us now. Blaska is You Tube-certified in minor house repair. Hellz Bellz, we’re having on-line fun just writing this!
No intelligence — artificial or otherwise — was used in the production of this blogge.
AI is not a steak sauce
An advertisement — on-line, of course — caught our attention. Pitched a new hybrid gas/electric vehicle from Mercedes Benz (Janis, are you listening?) It’s got “Intuitive AI software. Voice control. Waterfall design.” “The Mercedes Benz GLC’s center console even lights up when it sees you.” We’ve had puppy dogs that didn’t light up when they saw us!
→ “Sophisticated artificial-intelligence helpers will relieve parents’ burdens and give babies and toddlers the back-and-forth stimulation they need.” (More here.)
→ “Microsoft adds ChatGPT AI technology to Bing search engine.” (Read and Believe.)
→ AI makes hacking easier, even for non-hackers. (About time?)
More frightening, the Wall Street Journal reports that scientists reconstructed a Pink Floyd song from brain activity. (Thank you for not reconstructing Tony Orlando and Dawn.)
The technology promises to translate thought into speech for what we used to call “deaf mutes.” We also used to say “all crippled up,” which brings us to Stephen Hawking, of The Simpsons’ TV cartoon fame. Poor fellow had to use his cheeks to control a machine that rendered speech. What we don’t know is who the new technology sounds like. Tom Waits? Tell me this isn’t frightening:
Last year, Elon Musk’s Neuralink showed a video of “telepathic typing” from a monkey with a Neuralink brain implant, which contains threadlike electrodes — the equivalent of microphones for neural activity — that penetrate the brain.
— “Scientists Reconstructed …” It’s alive! IT’S ALIVE!
Blaska’s Bottom Lines: It once was theorized that it would take several million monkeys a-typing before — according to the law of averages — one produced Hamlet. Now how many would it take? Blaska is not a Luddite but neither is he an early adapter. We have enough trouble with that dimmed auto-correct. We do not trust Artificial Intelligence, intuitive or not. We do not want a vehicle that is smarter than its driver. If cars even need drivers, anymore. (Siri, pick up a six-pack of Modelo.)
Bad enough that every one of the classmates who assembled at Sharon’s this week were smarter and more accomplished. What if some of our more jealous thoughts came out as speech? It’s like Cliff the Mailman said on Cheers: “Did I just say that out loud?”
13 responses to “Siri, make my ears bleed!”
I’m very little disappointed that you have an iPhone …. nothing like being part of the larger borg. Where I am an Android user, the slightly smaller borg ….
I watch old tennis matches on youtube, hence I’m part of the Bjorn Borg.
(I know…groan)
Scott Adams (Dilbert guy) pointed out recently the left leaning tech companies are not training their AIs with conservative inputs. Not sure if true. Would be interesting to see an AI trained on both Thomas Sowell and Ibram X. Kendi. Might end up with a standstill.
Awwww… isn’t it fun to be present for the conception of another conspiracy theory?
Still steamed about Hunter’s laptop I see.
“Would be interesting to see an AI trained on both Thomas Sowell and Ibram X. Kendi.”
The indefatigable Dr. Sowell over that needle-d!cked, intellectual Junior Flyweight RAYcist in a 1st round TKO.
The Gotch
phffft
FACT: Single parent households are one of the greatest indicators of an idiot’s future poverty and substandard education.
The Gotch
[…] This post originally appeared at https://davidblaska.com/2023/08/18/siri-make-my-ears-bleed/ […]
Clearly, Alexa and Siri are meant to function as substitute butlers, who, like Jeeves, will faithfully carry out his lordship’s every command and cater to his every whim. Alas, A & S are still incapable of that functionary’s witty rejoinders (often at his lordship’s expense). My only encounter with A (or was it S?) was to bombard her with obscene requests, which the disembodied but unflappable voice responded to with (alleged) incomprehension. The owners of the device were not amused–it was as if I’d tried to molest their child.
At the heart of all these technological “advances” is a the desire for convenience, the tackiest concept ever devised by the human mind. And it’s no coincidence that every one of them aims to a) diminish human contact (e.g. ATMs) or b) obviate the need for even the slightest physical exertion (e.g., consulting a roadmap). Or both. In theory, all the time and effort saved by these “advances” should have freed us to make the world a more inviting, creative, and joyful place. In reality–well, look around.
Ahh Blaska…you made me chuckle out loud with your prose that fairly twinkles, rather than making my brain bleed. It’s not so bad being an aging relic. Think of all the fun we had; the music, the typing classes on the old muscle-building Royal Manuals, and speeding around without the NTSB breathing down our necks. We were one lucky generation. We’re on the verge of turning in our aging (almost-old-enough-to-be-a-classic) Ford sedan, but really, really, really do not want to have to engage with a disembodied, bossy dashboard god. Lord save us! Hope the Fiat survived your and your truck’s shenanigans.
Speaking of that old-time wisdom, my best friend in Madison (who lived to be 102), when asked how she lived through the Great Depression, said, “We didn’t even know there was one.” She grew up on a tobacco farm in Rio. She was solid gold and gave me great hope. Her best line, when encountering unpleasant people: “God made all kinds”. I live by that, especially on the Internet.
We raised tobacco, too, in Town of Sun Prairie.
Obviously tobacco raising makes one either witty or wise. I know … I know… you’re waiting for me to finish that line with … “or both”. But I’m feeling incredibly bolshi today. hahaha
My dental clinic recently informed their patients that they will be using AI to assist with reading X-rays and making evaluations. I’m OK with this. Just so they don’t haul out a robotic arm to perform “root canal therapy” on me. 😫