Beware of conservatives bearing gifts!
Two Christmases ago, sent a gift subscription of National Review to a sibling of the Democrat(ic) persuasion. Thought he would enjoy good writing from a different perspective. Hasn’t spoken to the Head Groundskeeper for over a year. (!!!)
Don’t make that mistake! The gnomes at Blaska’s Stately Manor — who recommended Hillary the Nutcracker in past Yuletides — tested these sure-fire, last-minute gifts. They’re sure to tickle the most irascible on your Christmas gift list without invoking either Antifa or the Proud Boys!
Kids picky eaters? Watch them chow down when you make their breakfast with this practical egg separator!
Blaska’s Bottom Line: Hey! At least these aren’t Irwin Mainway’s Bag o’ Glass! (Or Johnny Switchblade.)
Education
Blaska Policy Werkes 
How about the Bass-O-Matic 76? From the makers of the Bat-O-Matic 77 and Bag of Glass.
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The Gotch wanted to get you a Mickey Mouse Outfit, but can’t get Virginia Halas McCaskey to cut hers loose…
The Gotch
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A copy of “Quotes for the Conservative Heart” if he will review it on the blog.
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Yes, get that book! I’m in it! But do conservatives have a heart?
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Wow, that egg separator is going in several stockings!! 😉
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I vote for the lava lamp, the rotary dial telephone, the cap gun and the glass marbles. I was a little boy back then and loved every minute of it.
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How about a Lutefisk dinner?
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Lutefisk, the Norwegian Doomsday Machine!
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“Lutefisk, the Norwegian Doomsday Machine!”
Whose wounds only time shall heal…
The Gotch
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I recommend a cuddly Trumpy-Bear–or any of the merchandise hawked by the My Pillow Guy–for those on the right of your gift list and a cat o’ nine tails (specially designed for self-flagellation) for the guilty liberals on the left.
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Squire, may we also suggest the Squirrel-X™ Grande Squirrel-Resistant Cage Bird Feeder (available at Menards for only $39.99!)
(Squirrel not included)
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You ever observe that squirrels up north just seem tougher?
The ones around here are spoiled rotten…and…phat….and without that endearing reddish coat.
On the subject of fat, The Gotch recalls a story his good pal Good Dog Happy Man shared about being in Africa and a cab driver telling him and his lovely wife how much he wanted to come to the good ol’ U.S. of A.
The cabbie couldn’t say how he would get there, where he would go upon arriving, and/or what would he do once there, so GDHM asked him “O.K….like…why?”
The guy responded: Because Even Your Poor People Are Fat.
Reckon we got that going for us…which is nice!
The Gotch
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