Spread a little non-political Christmas cheer

Beware of conservatives bearing gifts!

Two Christmases ago, sent a gift subscription of National Review to a sibling of the Democrat(ic) persuasion. Thought he would enjoy good writing from a different perspective. Hasn’t spoken to the Head Groundskeeper for over a year. (!!!)

Don’t make that mistake! The gnomes at Blaska’s Stately Manor — who recommended Hillary the Nutcracker in past Yuletides — tested these sure-fire, last-minute gifts. They’re sure to tickle the most irascible on your Christmas gift list without invoking either Antifa or the Proud Boys!

Why not whiz through life here on earth with this little beauty! Get your boss to notice you!
An old favorite. Does YOUR goat ride comfortably? (We didn’t think so!)
Biological father not answering the phone? No one to record that special delivery! Get the no-hands Birthie Stick.
Don’t let the Ayatollah get his hands on your Atomic Energy Laboratory! While supplies last (last made in 1951).
It’s not Christmas until Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi Tower.

Kids picky eaters? Watch them chow down when you make their breakfast with this practical egg separator

Fun for kids of all ages! “Infused with Miller High Life”! They wouldn’t make it if it wasn’t good for you! Get one now!
Start ’em out right with a child-friendly vape kit!
Easier on crayons than the Arnold Schwarzenegger coloring book.

Blaska’s Bottom Line: Hey! At least these aren’t Irwin Mainway’s Bag o’ Glass! (Or Johnny Switchblade.)

What are YOU getting Blaska for Christmas?


About David Blaska

Madison WI
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12 Responses to Spread a little non-political Christmas cheer

  1. Mike says:

    How about the Bass-O-Matic 76? From the makers of the Bat-O-Matic 77 and Bag of Glass.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cornelius_Gotchberg says:

    The Gotch wanted to get you a Mickey Mouse Outfit, but can’t get Virginia Halas McCaskey to cut hers loose…

    The Gotch

    Liked by 1 person

  3. tartanmarine says:

    A copy of “Quotes for the Conservative Heart” if he will review it on the blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. mapkp says:

    Wow, that egg separator is going in several stockings!! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Bill Cleary says:

    I vote for the lava lamp, the rotary dial telephone, the cap gun and the glass marbles. I was a little boy back then and loved every minute of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Normwegian says:

    How about a Lutefisk dinner?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Gary L. Kriewald says:

    I recommend a cuddly Trumpy-Bear–or any of the merchandise hawked by the My Pillow Guy–for those on the right of your gift list and a cat o’ nine tails (specially designed for self-flagellation) for the guilty liberals on the left.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. nemoofthenorth says:

    Squire, may we also suggest the Squirrel-X™ Grande Squirrel-Resistant Cage Bird Feeder (available at Menards for only $39.99!)

    (Squirrel not included)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Cornelius_Gotchberg says:

      You ever observe that squirrels up north just seem tougher?

      The ones around here are spoiled rotten…and…phat….and without that endearing reddish coat.

      On the subject of fat, The Gotch recalls a story his good pal Good Dog Happy Man shared about being in Africa and a cab driver telling him and his lovely wife how much he wanted to come to the good ol’ U.S. of A.

      The cabbie couldn’t say how he would get there, where he would go upon arriving, and/or what would he do once there, so GDHM asked him “O.K….like…why?”

      The guy responded: Because Even Your Poor People Are Fat.

      Reckon we got that going for us…which is nice!

      The Gotch

      Liked by 1 person

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