If the shirt fits

Put up a statue of Chris Farley

down by the river!

We interrupt our regular programming to help spread the most wonderful idea. You know it’s a great idea because Blaska didn’t think of it — so don’t blame the Head Groundskeeper.

It’s time for a Chris Farley statue in Madison. Milwaukee has the Bronze Fonz, Minneapolis has Mary Tyler Moore throwing her hat into the air, New York City may or may not have a Christopher Columbus statue (depending on the Woke temperature of the moment). None of those guys was born in those places. Chris Farley was born here, grew up in Maple Bluff, and attended school at Edgewood high school on Monroe Street.

A statue of Chris Farley as his most acclaimed SNL character, motivational speaker Matt Foley. Preferably accompanied by a derelict sleeper van of some sort. Christina Lorey posted this idea on social media; says she got it from “some folks discussing this on Reddit” who suggested it be placed at Tenney Lock across Lake Mendota from Maple Bluff, on the shores of Yahara River.

Blaska’s Bottom Line: Would be a balm for a city that sometimes takes itself too seriously. Tunnel Bob also deserves his memorial: We see a hand creeping out from a storm drain on University Avenue. Snowball with a squeegee on State Street. Art the Window Washer as an animtron spewing profanity when his string is pulled (or a “coed” walks by). Ben Masel tooting a spleef like that iconic Camel cigarette smoking on New York’s Times Square. Eddie Ben Elson up on stage (tastefully) nude, announcing for district attorney. The possibilities are — if not endless, at least madder than a hatter.

Even BLM/Progressive Dane would be hard put to pull these statues down!

Who else deserves a statue?

Keep responses to fewer than 250 words; no images

3 responses to “Put up a statue of Chris Farley”

  1. pioneering609d4d5a89 Avatar
    pioneering609d4d5a89

    I think the Portage Plumber so get a statue where “Nails” used to be, he would give the Badger Fans a reason to show up even though they know that under Fickle they never even get to the “Toilet Bowl”.

  2. Steve Avatar

    How about the skeleton stuck in a chimney?

  3. Fred Avatar
    Fred

    Definitely a statue of Donald Trump, most hated man in Dane County. Could be a place for progressives to assemble for protests and to let off some steam.

Leave a Reply to SteveCancel reply

Discover more from Blaska Policy Werkes

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading