If you can’t beat ‘em, lie to them!
Progressives never say, “That’s it. Our work here is done.” No, the nation, their state and city are in permanent crisis mode, demanding massive spending, court-packing, protest marches, and ever-escalating “demands.” Which is why our Progressive … acquaintances reflexively raise their fists, as if responding to Dr. Pavlov’s command. (Remember their logo for the Act 10 insurrection?) Somehow, their raised fist beats our arsenal of AR-15s and bear spray. This ain’t rock, paper, scissors!
Still, they keep getting elected here in the Emerald City. Besides cheating, our strategy for taking back city hall, the schools, and Dane County is to out-do Madame Brenda, Ald. Benford and the other crazies with our own misleading campaign promises for:
A more Progressive Madison WI:
• Teach restorative drivers ed at the juvenile detention center. If kids are going to steal cars, at least they could drive them safely.
• Install drop boxes for spent firearm cartridges at strategic street corners. Keep Madison neat!
• Heated benches on roadway median strips for the comfort of panhandlers. Bonus idea: ATM machines.
• Alarm pulls next to school fire alarms to alert Ali Muldrow when implicit bias breaks out.
• Signal your virtue with ready-made plywood at Menard’s and Home Depot pre-painted with trite racial justice slogans and caricatures of police as pigs.
• Offer Nikole Hannah-Jones, principal author of 1619 Project, the job as the next UW-Madison chancellor.
• Officially recognize the “residents” of the Dane County Jail as a Madison affordable housing neighborhood with the right to object to residential in-fill proposals.
• Retrofit the ever-spinning revolving doors at the courthouse to generate clean, renewable electricity.
• Place Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion kiosks on Capitol Square and at Hilldale, East Towne and West Towne. Free tote bags emblazoned with the word “GUILTY!”
• Surgically attach permanent Covid face masks for the virtuous at drive-thru clinics.
• Levy a 2 percent surcharge on property taxpayers afflicted with white privilege.
• Signs at the city limits: “Welcome to Madison, named after Oscar Madison of the Odd Couple, not that slave owner.”
Blaska’s Bottom Line: We would suggest decriminalizing crime, but they’ve already done that.