As parental advice, it’s up there with Ma Barker.
“You have to learn not to get caught,” the mother of the Michigan school shooter advised.
What is chilling is that as school counsellors met with the 15-year-old sophomore and his parents, the semi-automatic handgun — an early Christmas present (Sig Sauers ain’t cheap!) — was nested in the boy’s backpack in that very room. That afternoon, Ethan Crumbley came out of the can blazing. The toll: four dead, seven injured.
The kid may as well have announced his murderous intentions over the school loud speaker. That morning, he’s drawing bullets and blood. The day before, a teacher espied young Crumbley searching for ammo on his smartphone.
Mommie Dearest was no role model. She texted her boy, “LOL, I’m not mad at you. You have to learn not to get caught.” Four observations and a prescription:
1) So much for the assertion shared by the anarchists at Freedom Inc. and their enablers at Progressive Dane, Madison Teachers Inc. and The Capital Times: that counsellors can replace cops in school. For all the good it did at Oxford MI high school.
2) Some parents are just no damn good at parenting.
3) The school should have yanked young Crumbley then and there. But today’s Woke angst opposes expulsion.
4) It’s politically safer to assert all of the above because young Crumbley is white as Wonder Bread.
After being rousted out of hiding in a Detroit warehouse 45 miles south of Oxford MI Friday 12-03-21, Mom and Dad Crumbley have been charged with involuntary manslaughter. It’s unusual to charge parents, the lawyerly tell us.
Let’s fix that! Let’s make it the usual, with a twist of lemon— as common as a coffee break at a state office building. As regular as the taste tester at the Sunsweet prune juice bottler. As frequent as a car warranty solicitation.
If parents aren’t responsible for their minor offspring, who is? The Blaska Policy Werkes correspondence school teaches Accountability 101 for credit. (Easy terms available.)
→ Speaking of which, that Woke, low-bail district attorney in Milwaukee throws an underling under the bus, leaves her out to dry. Inexperienced? After 2½ years on the job? Overworked? Probably. What do overworked assistants do? They implement the boss’s polices on auto-pilot.
• The 13 year old who rolls a stolen car on Rimrock Road stoned on a school day morning? Charge the little bastard’s poor excuse for a parent(s) with a corresponding crime!
• The 16 year old who administered a beatdown to the classmate outside of West high school? Charge his parental units, too. (More here.)
• The 15 year old who stabbed another kid at the fast food place on Verona Road? Judge Dredd, Meet the Parents!
A little legislation, Mr. Speaker
Speaker Vos, draft legislation. No doubt, Democrats will blame global warming; the Woke will cry Racism! in a crowded classroom. The ACLU will challenge; one-term Gov. Tony Evers will veto. Good! A fight worth fighting!
Ultimately, some kids need to be yanked out of their dysfunctional cribs and placed in the fenced residential school we envision for the shuttered Oscar Mayer plant. (Explained here.) Litigating their guardians will expedite state guardianship. Maybe these poor souls can be turned around with a little tough counselling.
Blaska’s Bottom Line: Parents besieging the school board over critical race theory aren’t the problem, Mr. Garland. At least they care.