Hey kids! Let’s automate critical race theory!

Why is this ‘valid test’ beeping?

The Werkes has dibs on a fool-proof scam that will defund social justice warriors of their bail money.

The potential market is bigger than ice cream at a Biden rally. In Madison WI alone buyers will come from Mayor Satya’s city government, Ali Muldrow’s school system, Tony Evers’ state government, and most of its pizza palaces.

Our idea will get all five venture capitalists on the Shark Tank reaching for their wallets! Even Mr. Wonderful!

Devise a test, a device, a contraption, a thing-a-majig that purports to ferret out white privilege, unconscious bias, and/or institutional racism. Charge extra for a hetero-normative patriarchal sniff-finder. Get someone like A.O.C. or Joy Behar to endorse it.

Doc Brown in Back to the Future

Trust the science!

We’re working off Progressive Brad’s formulation of “a valid test” [that] would test every man, woman, and child in America to “rigorously quantify the extent of racism in our society today by disclosing both their explicit and implicit biases.” Something “scientific” that could override the Constitution.

A startup already claims its software can spot racial bias within companies. A software startup called UnBiasIt had developed technology to detect keywords for racial, gender, or age bias in e-mails, texts, and phone calls. Already in use at a credit union in Columbus OH. (More here.)

Put on your thinking caps, people!

Software word recognition is but one technology. The Werkes entertains bodily invasive tests. Why stop with a cotton swab up the nose? Can we be even more creative than blaming a 42-ton rock for racism? Why not attach a Cherenkov radiation detector to the air filtration system? Make it beep and light up like the set of a 1970s daytime game show whenever an unfavored employee walks through the employee entrance. Give the poor moke a permanent tattoo before he gets tased and tackled.

Surely, the MacArthur genius grant has dollars for social justice breakthroughs like this. Got to be buried in Nancy Pelosi’s $3.5 trillion reconciliation bill.

Some ideas may be too stupid, but no idea is too politically correct! Train german shepherd dogs to sniff out bias? Hire an idiot savant who can count cards AND spot privilege? A little squirt of truth serum in the next Fauci Ouchi? Forget ColoGuard, Exact Sciences. Think Politically CorrectoGuard!

Blaska’s Bottom Line: Almost as limitless as progressive gullibility.

What’s YOUR bright idea?

About David Blaska

Madison WI
This entry was posted in Critical Race Theory / Identity politics, Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Hey kids! Let’s automate critical race theory!

  1. Normwegian says:

    I have Sven and Ole’s Institute of Artificial Intelligence working on it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Good Dog, Happy Man says:

      Vasdsat du tink?

      Sure , ya betcha, vee mighta reached AI, … artificial inteligence, before,
      … but vee’ve never reached Genuine Schoopidity, before, eeder.

      Ya. Hey.


  2. Larry says:


    Are you OK today?


  3. pANTIFArts says:

    (yes, you already know, —satire)

    UnBiasIt , a software designed to detect racism, sexism, etc. in personal communications is “Big Brother” come to life. As my uncle Tom (?) always told me, “Call a spade (flagged) a spade”. (flagged) The search for “sexism” is likely overly broad (flagged) and stacked (flagged) against employees who are already working slavishly (seriously? FLAGGED!) in order to “black ball” (just keep it up! flag!!) them. The chink (oh, going THERE now, are we? flag!) in the plan might be that the owners of the businesses that would use this software are usually a bunch of niggards. (Wait! – What? – That’s it, you’re gone!!!)

    Hang on, I’m getting an e-mail. Let me close by s@yi^& t#@t I d0>t . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Liked by 1 person

  4. pANTIFArts says:

    NOT satire!

    Mr Blaska has some amusing ideas to ferret out the racists among us. BUT, they just seem so— nice.
    What I envision is the “Great Progressive Inquisition” or “Wokageddon”, if you prefer. This is a full-blown search for HERETICS, thus it applies only to the (allegedly) “faithful”. (Republicans, Libertarians, “Trumpies”, etc., are all deemed “irredeemable”, and thus, exempt).

    The ground rules are simple. ANYONE can make an anonymous accusation against the “woke” person of their choice. The accused simply endures, no wait, “participates” in a few tests to either affirm their status as a contrite “ally”, or reveal themselves to be a heretical racist.

    TEST (1) The Scripture Test– Recite flawlessly, from memory, any of the works of Nikole Hannah-Jones, Ibram X. Kendi, or Robin DiAngelo. —(backwards, and in Swahili) Any errors or hesitations are proof of racism.

    TEST (2) The Touch Test– The accused will walk up to a random person of color (a presumed victim of their privilege), and place their hand upon them. If the “victim” is overcome with an overwhelming sense of “equity”, the accused is an “ally”. If the “victim” feels nothing, or feels uncomfortable being touched, this is a sure sign the accused is RACIST.

    TEST (3) The Body Search– The accused is stripped of clothing and are examined for birthmarks, moles, scars, third nipples, etc., stuff like that, ALL sure “marks of the Racist”.

    TEST (4) The Water Test– The accused is bound and dropped into Lake Monona. It is a scientific fact that racists float, and we must “follow the science” in our search for the truth. In the event the accused fails to surface, be warned they may be holding their breath, I know I would, (if I were a despicable RACIST, which I’m not). Therefore, a test duration of at least 30 minutes is strongly recommended.

    Anyone who does not surface within the allotted time shall be exonerated, and found to be an “ally” in good stead. — (ok, it was satire, so sue me)

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Rollie says:

    There were centuries that passed during which a person’s race was the primary factor in their available life choices and their outcomes. Race was and is an essentially fake concept, and those put on the loosing end of the construct would definitely prefer it if race was never invented.

    To assert that the impact of this history has been erased in mere decades is foolish. It’s like saying history has no impact to on the present whatsoever.

    It is fun to make fun of progressives, I agree that their song and dance is often insufferable. But the basic concepts are appropriate and necessary to discuss; it does no good to refuse to consider how race continues to factor into our lives just as it does no good to assert that race is the ONLY factor in our lives. It’ll be great when we can get past this, but it’ll take more than a few decades. And longer if even bringing up the topic leads a quarter of our population to immediate dismissal.

    There is clear data that shows bias/white privilege in health care settings. It does exist. This is indeed an area where automation could be useful. If a doctor recommends one treatment for 80% of their white heart patients but only 10% of their black heart patients (obviously controlling for other factors) a software program could be useful to help figure out what’s going on. And this stuff does happen.

    Oh! But life choices and fatherhood and criminality and so on so on so on. None of what I said means that stuff doesn’t matter too. There are always multiple factors to everything. We’d all benefit if both sides acknowledged that and stopped demonizing each other.

    But that doesn’t lead to clicks…. After all, here I am again 🙂 the click bait outrage internet economics strikes again. There’s a lot of money to be made in outrage. I should click on that Amazon ad on this page and make this site some more money 😉 We’re all being manipulated by our media, myself included. I challenge you to acknowledge this for yourselves.


  6. Rollie says:

    An aside as I saw the side banner against Critical Race Theory:
    I’ve never in my life seen such a strong negative reaction to any theory. Careful with that – there’s nothing that strikes up a young person’s curiously quite like vehement opposition on the part of the youth’s parents. Sometimes it’s more effective to ignore an idea 😉


    • David Blaska says:

      How much more are you willing to ignore?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Rollie says:

        I’m not ignoring anything, just not scared of ideas. Go ahead and put whatever you want in your local schools, it’s your kids. Take over the school boards, make it like Footloose or something. Feel free to think CRT is a threat to American Values. I disagree, and that’s ok. I’m just saying that your kids just might end up wanting to learn about it even more in the end.


    • Liberty says:

      Complacency and ignoring the problem is what got us into this mess.


    • Liberty says:


      Why do you suppose there’s such a strong reaction to CRT?

      It teaches impressionable children who had absolutely nothing to do with past events to judge themselves and others based on the color of their skin. Children are actually going home and apologizing for being white. What do you suppose this will do to their sense of self worth? Is this not the definition of racism?

      All students should learn about our history, including the troubled parts like slavery. Teaching history shouldn’t be confused with CRT though. We are a redeemable nation, despite what CRT apologists say.


      • Rollie says:

        I’m not particularly concerned with kid’s feelings in this regard, I hope we can instill some resiliency so that they don’t turn into crybabies. Yes, we all have challenges to our self worth every day of our lives. After a few hundred years of it it will even manifest in all sorts of negative ways, doesn’t it? As a democracy we all really should feel responsible for our country’s actions, and that’s not always going to be fun. If a few years of mild discomfort will serve to help move past hundreds of years of dehumanization maybe that’s a decent trade-off?

        My spicy-senses are telling me that this is getting blown out of proportion by political leaders for their own political ends. But I’m totally ok with local control over schools and communities, I actually hope that can be extended to Milwaukee as well. Please do make a big deal of CRT at school board meetings and even push to get it banned from the UW System. Organize a book burning. There’s no such thing as bad publicity and the formerly obscure CRT theorists will be laughing all the way to the bank. And the curious will wonder what all the fuss is about and read some of the texts…

        Sorry that the fake construct of race was created and that we live in a reality where it still has an effect. Sorry kids will sometimes learn that even if we try to shield them.


  7. Rollie says:

    I don’t have strong feelings about CRT. I’m not an academic, I’m just a regular person, so I don’t claim to be an expert on it. My understanding is that it is a theory that focuses on race relations (racism) as a fundamental aspect of our society that influences every other aspect of our society. Then it attempts to explain social conditions in the context of this racial viewpoint. I’d think an academic could do the same with lots of concepts; viewing things through various lenses depending on their research interests.

    Given the central role race did play in our history it doesn’t seem outrageous to take up that line of thought. But I’m not a person that lives by one theory, philosophy, party, religion, etc. as “the truth”. I try to take bits of wisdom from as many sources as I can.

    I’ll just leave this story to chew on:

    You have two people who shared a ration of food for years. Bob consistently was given a bigger share of healthy, nutritious food than Joe. Bob grew healthy and stronger with every passing year, while Joe grew sick and weaker with every passing year. Suddenly it was decided that it was not right that Bob got the better share of food.

    What to do now? Should the food get evenly split, even if that means that Bob will remain strong (but not grow stronger) and Joe will remain weak (but not grow weaker)? After all, that’s only fair, and it’s impossible to extract the unfairly obtained health from Bob’s body to Joe’s in order to right the past wrong. And Bob never made the rules, he just played by them – it’s not his fault.

    This is how systematic problems get baked-in. Maybe there’s not going to be a great way to deal with it that makes everyone happy. Maybe if Bob would at least acknowledge the situation he might consider taking 45% for a while instead of 50%, even though “it’s not fair”. Maybe in that case Joe could work to stop resenting Bob for his health and strength, even if it never gets back to even. Maybe stuff can’t ever be made perfect, but having enough humility to acknowledge reality can go a long way towards moving on.

    All these attacks on the concepts like white privilege are like saying reality isn’t real. In our story, Bob had Bob-privilege. It would be absurd for him to deny that, but that’s what huge swaths of the populace are currently doing because it hurts their feelings to acknowledge reality. Bob didn’t create Bob-privilege and he doesn’t have to go home and cry about it, but he also shouldn’t deny it – him and Joe can talk about it and figure out what to do moving forward. Or Bob can deny Bob-privilege and deal with the social turmoil of Joe’s justified unaddressed resentment.


    • David Blaska says:

      55 years of Great Society isn’t enough? What are you going to give to get Javon to go to school and not steal cars?


      • Batman says:

        I believe the Great Society enterprise cost (mostly white) taxpayers over 20 TRILLION dollars and yet the poverty rate remains unchanged. Damn white privileged racists!

        CRT and the epithets white privilege/racist, have been weaponized by Marxist’ who prefer communism to our constitutional republic and are working hard to that end including violently.

        “Bob didn’t create Bob-privilege and he doesn’t have to go home and cry about it, but he also shouldn’t deny it – *him and Joe can talk about it* and figure out what to do moving forward. Or Bob can deny Bob-privilege and deal with the social turmoil of Joe’s justified unaddressed resentment.”

        These people aren’t talkers Rollie, they’re revolutionaries and CRT is just another arrow in their quiver.



        • Rollie says:

          Promoting political ideas is different than forcing them. I’m not familiar with anti-democratic forces on the left, but I’d suppose they also exist. I’m against anyone who’s against democracy. Democracy needs a wide variety of free thought.


        • David Blaska says:

          “I’m not familiar with anti-democratic forces on the left.” Are you new to the Werkes?


  8. Batman says:

    Probably a troll.


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