These are a few of our least favorite things!
The gray lab coats here at the Werkes power-washed Ol’ Sparky, our Eisenhower-era mainframe computer, with enough WD-40 to drown a dolphin. The aging mechanism sprang to life like Hunter Biden using his daddy’s credit card to line up a row of snow at the Chateau Marmont. We asked the clanking contraption:
What are Progressives good for?
Sparky belched out this dot-matrix list:
- Critical race theory. Institutional racism, implicit bias, white privilege, white fragility, etc.
- School choice only for the rich. Top-down government schools for everyone else. Get lost, Kaleem Caire and other black education reformers.
- Defund, reimagine, reform, prosecute, second-guess etc., caricature the police.
- Men playing women’s sports.
- We’re all gonna die paranoia. Wear a face mask alone in your car. The Greta Thunberg syndrome.
- Rule by Expert / Follow the Science (which is Settled). Dr. Fauci as physician king. Eugenics, anyone?
- Drag queen story hour for kindergarteners.
- Climate change — it caused the last ice age, didn’t it?
- Guns cause crime. Fly a huge magnet over Chicago to disarm the gang bangers.
- Socialism. Free college, free health care, free housing, guaranteed annual wage. You earned it; they want it.
- Unlimited government spending. “Unmet needs!” Biden’s $6 Trillion in new spending! What part of “free” don’t you understand?
- Top-down arrogance. Government must re-educate its deplorable citizens so they can be worthy of their government. Mandatory racial sensitivity training. Elizabeth’s Warren’s wagging finger. “You didn’t build that.”
- Support America’s enemies abroad. Divest in Israel; ship money to Iran.
- Rewrite the Constitution — written by wealthy white men in 1619.
- Killing babies is an inalienable right but executing convicted murders is an injustice.
- Rewrite history. Abraham Lincoln was a racist. So is a huge boulder deposited by the last glacier 12,000 years ago. Both must be removed from the UW-Madison campus!
- Orwellian language. Riots — aka “social justice” — are the result of “mostly peaceful” protests. “Economic justice” translates as: you earned it, we’ll take it.
- Cancel Culture. Burn books by Dr. Seuss. Take pancake syrup off the shelves. Fire a New York Times editor for publishing an op ed by U.S. Sen. Tom Cotton.
- Intimidate, don’t persuade. “We need some muscle over here.” The Madison mob warned the state senator not to take pictures before they beat him. Expect to be F-bombed outside your window at midnight if you don’t fall in line. Hoard plywood if you got plate glass on State Street.
- Separate but unequal standards of justice. Social justice warriors can shut down the Madison school board budget meeting and the county board’s deliberations over infrastructure; stop traffic on E. Washington Ave., and John Nolen Drive; scare children at the private residences of elected officials. To this day, not one of those insurrectionists has been arrested.
- Progressive heroes: A.O.C., Ilhan Omar, Mayor Satya, Rebecca Kemble, John Nichols, Nada Elmikoshfi, Brandi Grayson, Prof. Sami Schalk, “Mad Max” Prestigiacomo. Freedom Inc. Real patriots, that bunch.
- Hoaxers: Jussie Smollett, the Ferguson MO “Hands up, don’t shoot!” urban myth, Madison’s Lighter Fluid girl, Adam Schiff and Russian Collusion.
- Outright racism. Biden’s ag department sent relief money to farmers — unless they were white. Nine of the 11 citizens on the Madison police review committee cannot be white.
- Black Lives Matter — only if killed by white police while resisting arrest. Shooting victims in Minneapolis up 90% compared with the first half of last year after the George Floyd riots.
- Infantilizing black people. Rugged individualism, the work ethic, planning for the future, good grammar, politeness etc. are not tactics for success but only “aspects and assumptions of White Culture.” That’s according to the Smithsonian Institute.
- Disaster: Seattle’s Capital Hill Autonomous Zone, 100+ straight days of rioting in Portland, the immigration crisis at the border, Chicago as a shooting gallery. Progressives cannot govern.
- Pick your pronouns.
- “Birthing people.”
Blaska’s Bottom Line: Progressives have taken over the Democrat(ic) party, the news media, entertainment industry, K-12 schools and higher ed. They are penetrating Wall Street and major employers. They must be stopped.