PHIL! is phantastic!

Heroes still walk among us

There are people this morning fretting about the quadrillion-dollar infrastructure bill or vowing retribution for the Stolen Election of 2020. We say piffle and balderdash! (We can say that because we got a good Catholic schooling before critical race theory dumbed down education.)

PHIL! Mickelson won the PGA tournament Sunday, May 23, 2021 — a day that will LIVE … in ecstacy!

Years from now, people will ask: Where were you when PHIL! won the PGA tournament? The entire staff and management of the Werkes can say: In front of the wide-screen, high-def TV, of course!

No need to thank Squire Blaska and the Lovely Lisa for PHIL!’s win. PHIL! is into meditation and deep consciousness, so the indentured servants donned imaginary saffron robes and went all Zen Buddhist. We intoned “OMMMMM!” and “INNN the HO-Oh-oh-oh-lllllll” over his shots. Swear our Sony liquid crystal display TV vibrated all the way to Kiawah Island SC when PHIL! birded the 5th hole from the “sand area.”  

Who else but PHIL! gives the ball to a kid all crippled up in a wheelchair? Not even Mother Theresa, we would wager. Speaking of saints, his win in the PGA tournament on Sunday, May 23, 2021 should qualify as a miracle. The miracle of the “sandy area.” We’re guessing that after PHIL! left for the next tee that crippled up kid in the wheelchair got up and walked over to the practice range and hit a bucket. Hallelujah! and FORE!

Who else but PHIL! can hit a ball under a golf cart wheel one swing (to prove that he came down to us in human form and knows suffering) and pull off the Miracle of the Sandy Area the next? How many signs do you non-believers need?

Does golf have a patron saint? Pope Frankie One should give PHIL! a dispensation. (Don’t know if he is Catholic but is Christian.) PHIL! would be the first non-Catholic patron saint of golf. Another First to being the oldest winner of a major! 50 years, 11 months, 24 days. Yet hits the longest drive of anyone on the 16th hole — 366 yards. Your bloggeur can’t even see that far. Best of all, no one saw it coming! PHIL! was a has-been, well past his prime. Last major win 8 years ago at the (British) Open. (Padraig Harrington, the smiling Irishman and three-time major winner, tied for fourth place. Age 49.) 

No face masks! Looks like Freedom!

The most unforgettable scene was the masses following PHIL! up to the 18th green. They wanted to touch the garment. “Slightly unnerving,” PHIL! admitted at the awards ceremony. “But exceptionally awesome.”

I’ve failed many times in my life and career and because of this I’ve learned a lot. Instead of feeling defeated countless times, I’ve used it as fuel to drive me to work harder. So today, join me in accepting our failures. Let’s use them to motivate us to work even harder.” — PHIL! Mickelson.

Role models, anyone?

We noticed that PHIL! has lost his love handles. This inspires the head groundskeeper of the Par 1 Stately Manor course to lose a few pounds of his own. That should count as another miracle, if Pope Frankie One is counting.

We don’t mean to be sacrilegious here (he wrote, nervously glancing upwards), but even us revered opinion leaders need a little inspiration every now and again. We admire courage and determination. Golf doesn’t do “Equity.” You got to deliver. Golf is unfair. (Who put that pond there?) It can be cruel. (Had a good round going and now can’t find the ball.) A well designed course will bring world class athletes to their knees. Where was Dustin Johnson? Left in the dust. And Justin, Rory, Jordan, Bryson?  

Blaska’s Bottom Score Card: So there’s the age thing for us superannuated armchair athletes. Like we said, inspiration. Yeah, sports figures should be heroes — not by what they say, necessarily. Anyone can take a knee at the Anthem. But by what they do and how they live their lives.

Who is YOUR hero?

About David Blaska

Madison WI
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14 Responses to PHIL! is phantastic!

  1. Kevin S Wymore says:

    Hasn’t Phil at the Pinnacle also overcome some debilitating chronic health condition? I could look it up, but the message of reward through work has not taken hold here yet.


  2. One eye says:

    Great win out of nowhere. But as you noted, Phil is not as fat as he used to be. Hell his man breasts have almost disappeared.

    Will pushing away the plate become the new training tactic for senior golfers?


  3. Good Dog, Happy Man says:

    I’m more worried about Zhou Bai-Din’s quadrillion dollar infrastructure bill than the stolen election.

    Bai-Din pitched his two and a half trillion-dollar infrastructure bill to taxpayers, that’s two and a half, followed by twelve zeroes. And he compares himself to FDR. The last time America was attacked by this many zeroes FDR declared war on Japan. (H/T: Pookie)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. One eye says:

    It’s also a little shocking that Phil still talks to his wife like they’re newlyweds.

    Probably helps that his tour schedule gives them a lot of time away from each other.


  5. georgessson says:

    Sent a FWD of this post about Phil’s PGA victory, lotta replies, lotta folks happy he finally won @ 50 or so yrs. old. One gal mentioned the news reportin’ the usual line-up wasn’t there, and she said, “SO WHAT !” Anyhow, a happy outcome for good fellow.

    Pretty classy/upbuildin’ response, too: “So today, join me in accepting our failures. Let’s use them to motivate us to work even harder.”


  6. Pasco says:

    Isn’t Lefty a righty? Regardless he played inspired golf.🏌🏿‍♂️


    • David Blaska says:

      He is naturally right-handed. You saw him sign his scorecard with his right hand. But like a very good local golfer I know, plays left. Fair number of baseball players do the same.


    • One eye says:

      He seems to have both conservative and liberal opinions, depending on the issue.


  7. Bill says:

    First off, let me just say as a non golfer, I was and still am particularly impressed by the Phil Mickelson. He truly is a class act. Nothing I am about to say should in any way take away my awe and admiration for him.

    Ah yes, and now that the Madison School board and other school boards have said that boys who say they are girls, and girls who say they are boys can play sports on the teams of opposite sex. Our governator, Governor milk toast, has implied that boys can play as girls on a girls team so that we can have equity.

    Just how may I ask can we have EQUITY in golf? As all of you well know, in golf it all comes down to the individual who is the best player on that day who wins the tournament on that day. Will it be considered EQUITY if a girl who say’s she is a boy does not win any tournaments while playing on the Boy’s golf teams?

    How will we achieve EQUITY if a boy who say’s he is a girl, plays golf on a girls team and continually wins against the girls as he has more upper body strength than the girls? How will it be fair to the girls who are playing on the other teams?

    I have never played the game of golf. Therefor it would be a cinch for anyone, male or female, of any talent at all in playing the game to beat me at playing golf. Should I be able to declare that I should win the game even though I have never played it as if I don’t win, my feelings will be hurt?

    As an aside, I see that over on Channel 3000, there is a new 5 part series called “The state of Hate in Wisconsin”. Wow, I better check my white male privilege as I repair those toilets and fix the doors this morning at work. Oh and should there be an accidental spill as it often happens where I work, I will have to mop up the mess. Wouldn’t want anyone to think that I am better than them as I mop the floors now would I?


    • One eye says:

      FYI for you non-golf fans, there were 2 legends on the green for the trophy presentation on Sunday. Mickelson obviously but the other is Suzy Whaley, President of the PGA of America.

      In 2003, she became the first woman in 58 years to qualify for a PGA Tour event when she qualified for the 2003 Greater Hartford Open, after winning the 2002 Connecticut PGA Championship.

      Equity Schmequity.


  8. patrickmoloughlin says:


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