Would the Lone Ranger take off his mask, kemosabe?
No man is an island, unless he lives in Dane County, Mr. Donne. The Madison WI metro area plays by its own rules — the science be damned!
The federal Centers for Disease Control (there’s more than one, apparently) say (plural) take off your facemasks if you are fully vaccinated! The State of Wisconsin Department of Health says “The science is clear: if you are fully vaccinated, you are protected.”
Not so fast, the 550,000 residents of Dane County. Surrounded by too much reality, the Madison area holds out like that clueless Japanese soldier on a forgotten Pacific atoll. Never mind those “Science Is Real” signs. Or that Dane County is the most vaccinated populous county in the nation! Zero-risk Dane County says keep wearing the mask.
Sorry. After 14 months, we’re through playing Captain May I? You want a test case? Read me my rights!
Buried deep within his beat-up wallet, the head groundskeeper at the Werkes carries a frayed card that attests that his veins are pumping Moderna mRNA vaccine (mint chocolate flavored). The Covid-19 Get-Out-of-Facemask-Jail-Free card is wedged in with the just-renewed state Concealed Carry card. Freedom these days comes via a government-issued card, apparently.
You know the thing (as President Biden would say): The head groundskeeper hereabouts sees no scenario where he would ever show such a card or frequent any place that would dare demand their production. So, how can anyone tell? Who wants to make Blaska Dane County’s test case?
Nonetheless, we are certain that years from now, we’ll espy some idiot bicycling on the John Nolen causeway past Lake Monona fully masked. Facemasks have become a partisan fashion statement like those multi-lingual “No One is Illegal” yard signs and BLM bumper stickers. A sign of faith-based belief, like the Hindoo’s red dot on the forehead or Catholics’ Ash Wednesday cross.
Blaska’s Bottom Line: Like the early feminists burning bras, we feel the local Republican party (it does exist but we won’t betray their whereabouts) missed a beat by not staging a public mask burning.