The year 2020 REVEALED!

Predictions you can take to the bank (of the Crawfish River)!

Lab-tested, scientifically proven!

Predictions univac computer

Can’t make heads nor tails out of this gibberish

The white lab coats here at Blaska Policy Werkes took the tarp off Ol’ Sparky, squirted a little WD40 on the gears before jump-starting the Eisenhower-era mainframe computer (it’s fully amortized). We asked the clinking, clanking, clattering collection of colligenous junk: What Lies in Store for the Year 2020? (Sounds like that dreadful Zager & Evans song which ought to be the theme song of that bratty little Swedish girl who pesters everyone about climate-change.)

 

The envelope, please!

Jimmy Graham actually catches an Aaron Rodgers pass to win Super Bowl LIV! (It lodges in his face mask.)

Madison schools name Kaleem Caire superintendent after seventh-graders hijack fleet of school district maintenance vehicles, drag race them on Regent Street.

Taking mercy on headline writers, Giannis Antetokounmpo changes his legal name to Johnny άλφα (Alpha).

Gordon Sondland named ambassador to Antarctica.

Bob Uecker plays first base in Brewers’ opener until management can re-sign Jesus Aguilar.

Trey Gowdy succeeds the Notorious R.G.B. on the Supreme Court.

Striking blow for diversity, Madison Police & Fire Commission names David Clarke new police chief.

Edgewood girls soccer game breaks out in front of City-County Building.

James Clapper, John Brennan, and Andrew McCabe do the perp walk, gangnam style.

In exchange for getting his fourth agriculture secretary confirmed, Tony Evers declares Wisconsin a Second Amendment sanctuary state.

After Brenda Konkel expels Satya Rhodes-Conway from Progressive Dane, Madison’s mayor resigns to enter Monster Truck Demolition circuit.

Vicki McKenna replaces Rachel Maddow as thoroughly discredited MSNBC does complete overhaul. Brian Schimming replaces Pajama Boy.

CNN becomes a shopping channel. Don Lemon sells Invicta watches.

California bans electricity.

Pope Francis converts to Catholicism.

Milwaukee Mayor Barrett issues urgent, nationwide plea for more 4 x 8 plywood panels the week of July 13-16.

Keynote address at Democratic National Convention delivered by bratty little girl from Sweden. Forecast: Global climate change, with a chance of meatballs.

Ismael Ozanne defeated for re-elected as Dane County district attorney by former police chief Mike Koval.

James Comey disappears into witness protection program.

The Klobuchar/Buttigieg ticket loses pivotal Wisconsin after the Waukesha county clerk remembers to submit Brookfield’s results.

John Nichols seeks asylum in Cuba.

What are YOUR predictions? (Not that anyone cares.)

 

 

About David Blaska

Madison WI
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3 Responses to The year 2020 REVEALED!

  1. Scott F says:

    Joe and Hunter Biden seek political asylum in Ukraine.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cornelius Gotchberg says:

    @AnonyBob ceases posting Lefty drivel completely after the epiphany that Lefty doesn’t need any help looking stupid. Seeks personal relevance by beginning a Milli Vanilli Redemption Tour.

    @hankdog/old baldy confesses he has absolutely no idea what he’s taking about, but thought the mocking it generated was a form of acceptance.

    @Zoltar Speaks! emerges from a months long Deep Cover surveillance of Lefty; he assures everyone, while laughing his @$$ off, that they have nothing to worry about.

    Madison establishes a new Task Force to combat crime, select @Batman to head it up.

    Cowboys owner Jerry Jones fires himself. ‘Skins fans rejoice knowing that now Dan Snyder is THE biggest prick owner in the NFL.

    Madison BIKIES hold tear-filled mass burning of their gaily festooned Lycra after finding out it used to be manufactured by Koch Brothers Industries.

    Madison Lefties demand Lady Forward be toppled after discovering the gold-plated figure is a 1 % er.

    Paula Fitz chosen as new Madison Police Chief; criminal thug miscreants & the ACLU quickly file Civil Rights lawsuit claiming her selection violates their 8th Amendment right to be protected from cruel and unusual punishment.

    @geo_ avoids holiday gatherings again this year fearing they’ll just be more of his family’s ardent desire to stage an intervention.

    Madison’s west side bans nice @$$ cars, auto thefts immediately fall to zero.

    Blaska sells One Way tickets out of the MMSD, earns 8 figure$ in less than a week, retires, puts his blogge into a sight-impaired Trust, and sets off to hike the Appalachian Trail.

    MPD cracks down on BIKIE scofflawing; sets new yearly record for tickets and fines in just the 1st week.

    Butch reveals that even though he finds the Babylon Bee highfreakin’larious, he can’t ignore that its truth speaks to him.

    Leo admits he thought posting Lefty twaddle might be a good way to pick up chicks, but finds the only chicks that are interested are big hairy guys identifying as them.

    And last, but not least:

    Cornelius Hieronymus Gotchberg declares that his…um…infrequent postings are nothing more that a beer-fogged cry for help…

    Happy New Year, all!

    ON WISCONSIN!!

    The Gotch

    Liked by 1 person

    • Batman says:

      Comment of the Year! ~~~>2019.

      PS. (just between you and me), what about Expat and Sprocket-

      PSS. Paula Fitz and Batman would clean this town up in no time. DA and judges would relent after a massive PR campaign activated blistering public pressure thereby persuading them to reverse their soft Lefty ways.

      Liked by 1 person

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