You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it is cold.
No mail delivery. No school. No state government.
Blame the Orange Man for the government shutdown? We swear in Tony Evers as governor and one month later …
Leon’s drive-in, Milwaukee, is still serving frozen custard. Believe us, the custard IS frozen.
Walmart shoppers are advised to wear an extra pair of pajamas.
It is 50 degrees warmer in the Stately Manor refrigerator.
Grandpa’s teeth are chattering and they’re still in the Polident jar.
Due to the extreme cold and wind, the Madison Police Department is canceling all misdemeanor and felony criminal activities.
Criminals, please take note, it is too cold to commit crimes. Stay inside and read, watch Netflix, go on Madison Area Crime Stoppers and help catch other criminals, anything, but for the love of polar bears, do not go outside and commit crimes.