If your wallet isn’t as fat as George Costanza’s, you may need a City of Madison identification card.
Your city government at work. Tackling the Big Stuff. Madison’s UnCommon Council, meets tonight (6-20-17) at the Obama Center to take the first step to creating a real collector’s item, a City of Madison I.D. card. That first step would be to create the all-important “work group,” which will tie up citizens and elected alders for interminable meetings on this crucial issue. (It’s Item #78 on the agenda.)
What you wanna bet the work group eventually says, “Yep, Madison ought to have its own I.D. card.” ?
The resolution cites the usual roster of besieged identity groups allegedly suffering from Thin Wallet Syndrome (aka: no I.D. card) but one of the groups listed in the proposed legislation stands out: “immigrants.”
Now, the immigrants we’ve witnessed taking the oath of citizenship at the Kastenmeier federal courthouse (soon to be renamed after Judge “Hang ‘em High” Shabazz) were given real I.D. cards, not this city scrip. But it’s too much to expect the City of Madison to use the word “illegal” to modify the word “immigrant” in an official resolution so we’ll just have to fill in the blank, ourselves.
Although this precious card can’t be used for voting — state law, doncha know — “a municipal identification card would be a powerful symbol of inclusion and welcome,” its sponsors assert.
While worthless at the polling place, Madison’s own card (Don’t Leave Home Without It!) would enable the bearer to report crimes, labor and housing law violations. Which is ironic, given that the bearer — here illegally — is ratting on his landlord for, say, a leaky faucet.
The Madison Municipal Identification Card would be a boon to “transgender and gender non-conforming” who “may face particular challenges in obtaining identification that reflects their gender identity.”
No doubt, the Madison card will feature the likeness of Barack Obama garbed in classical robes welcoming the huddled masses and wretched refuse yearning to breathe free and get free stuff. A veritable Get Out of Jail Free Card!
The resolution is not explicit but, one suspects, the bearer of the Madison Municipal Identification Card may well be eligible for taxpayer financed peer counseling after the daily urban shooting spree. So it’s got that going for it.